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Author: Staff

Politics World 

New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left

September 15, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Colin Mullins HARVARD, CONN. — After less than a minute of analysis, researchers have concluded that three “alt-rights” do

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Local Politics 

Area Man Fiscally Conservative But Socially Awkward

September 13, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA — In a time of deep political division, area man Chase Stuart defies the

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Local 

Empty Nesters Adjust To One Less Disappointment in House

September 12, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kylie Charney-Harrington BELLEVUE, WA — Sunlight streamed through the French doors of Cathy McCormick’s split-level as she padded through

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College Local 

Professor in Midst of Mid-Life Crisis Offers Extra Credit to Anyone Willing to Go to Burning Man With Him

September 8, 2017January 23, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Nolan Jones LOS ANGELES — After realizing that he was probably past the halfway point of his insignificant life,

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College USC 

USC Med Students Dissect Massive Elephant in the Room

September 7, 2017January 23, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ethan Thomson LOS ANGELES – USC’s Keck School of Medicine is off to an exciting start as students returned

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Local 

Woman with Pockets in Dress Incapable of Talking About Anything Else

September 1, 2017September 1, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Kylie Charney-Harrington Hell-bent on demonstrating the utility of her stylish dress choice, local Laurel Hersey insisted on reminding every

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College USC 

Girl on Apartment Meal Plan Finds Trojan Plan Sugar Daddy

August 30, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Elise Vondra TROJAN GROUNDS, USC – As she went to pay for her grande soy latte, sophomore Lucy White

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Local 

Post-Divorce Fun-Dad Is Scaring the Children

April 27, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ethan Thomson LOS ANGELES, CA — On Tuesday, recently divorced and newly “fun-dad” Rob Cooper attempted to take his

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College 

Guest Speaker Put To Sleep By Student’s Long-Winded Personal Anecdote

April 13, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Emily Halaka USC – Deep into cinema student Evan Carmody’s egregiously long tale disguised as “asking a relevant question,”

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Columns Strong Feelings 

New Poll Conducted by the Cool Kids Concludes That I’m Gay

April 12, 2017April 12, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ethan Thomson According to a new poll conducted by the cool kids at New Summit Middle School, I am

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Recent Posts

  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
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Article Roulette

Traveler Refuses to Eat Hay: “Only Meat,” Says the Horse

Traveler Refuses to Eat Hay: “Only Meat,” Says the Horse

March 29, 2026 Alex Choy No Comment

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