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Author: Staff

College 

Student Listens to Roommate Masturbating Far Longer Than Acceptable

November 14, 2016June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kitty Guo NEW NORTH — At precisely 12:48 a.m. freshman James Hatchet awoke to the sounds of his roommate

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Strong Feelings 

Well…Fuck.

November 9, 2016 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Fuck. Shit ass tits bitch mother fucker ass butt dick. How did we get to this point–shit Goddamn fuck shit

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Editorial Politics 

The Sack of Troy Endorses Mikey McCormack For 8th Grade Class President

November 7, 2016January 21, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] The Sack of Troy strives to bring our readers objective news they can trust, no matter their political leanings.

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College 

Courageous Girl Risks Her Life Peeing in Gnarly Frat House Bathroom

November 3, 2016June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Gabriella Tranchina THE ROW– At Sigma Nu’s party last Friday, freshman Claire Shea proved herself a modern-day hero by

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College 

Student Writes Genuinely Thoughtful Message on Dorm Whiteboard

November 1, 2016June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte LOS ANGELES, CA — The fourth floor of Fluor Tower was rocked Saturday by the appearance of

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College USC 

Student Has Life Threatening Allergic Reaction, Engemann: “Sorry It’s After 5, Tomorrow?”

October 24, 2016June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Gabriella Tranchina ENGEMANN HEALTH CENTER — At 5:15PM on Monday, Sophomore Clara Rivers was munching on some Lucky Charms

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College 

Fraternity Member Crashes Car, Blames Traffic Lights For Sending “Confusing, Mixed Signals”

October 21, 2016June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Lillian Tsao USC — Phi Kappa Kappa member Matthew Robertson ran over a crowd of pedestrians on Tuesday, killing

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Entertainment 

Hollywood Soon To Run Out Of Adjective-Number Combinations For Movie Titles

October 19, 2016January 21, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Amanda Suarez HOLLYWOOD, CA — With the release of Magnificent Seven and Ridiculous 6, Hollywood is headed towards a

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College USC 

Breakups Increase After Parents Weekend as Students Discover How Significant Other Will Look in 25 Years

October 10, 2016June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte USC — As Parents Weekend comes to a close, breakups have increased by 50% after students came

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Politics 

Tim Kaine Bursts Into Harmonica Solo In The Face Of Difficult Debate Questions

October 5, 2016January 21, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Georgina Chiou LONGWOOD UNIVERSITY, VA — Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Tim Kaine has garnered a tremendous amount of attention

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Recent Posts

  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
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Article Roulette

Idiot Riding Unicycle Must Be Unaware of Less Complicated Forms of Transportation

Idiot Riding Unicycle Must Be Unaware of Less Complicated Forms of Transportation

October 3, 2017 Staff No Comment

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