Sororities Employ Barcode Tattoos to Tell Attractive, Blonde Sisters Apart
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Lillian Tsao LOS ANGELES, CA—For decades, the sorority has been a haven for attractive blonde females, but distinguishing each
Read more
Author: Staff
Last Non-Mac Computer on Campus to Be Put Down This Week
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte LOS ANGELES, CA — After years of being surrounded by generations of sleeker, thinner Macs with better
Read more
Student Brushes Teeth as Long as Person at Neighboring Sink to Not Seem Gross
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery | photo by Liam Maddox BIRNKRANT — Friday morning, freshman Marcus Reynolds entered the bathroom and began
Read more
Voters Relieved Debate Changed Nothing
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Staff AMERICA — The first presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump quelled the fears of local voters
Read more
Student Hesitant to Draw Conclusions About Thumping Noises Coming From Wall
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Cameron Wen USC – A variety of sights, scents, and sounds can be found at any given time in
Read more
Police Commit to Shooting More Unarmed White People to Ensure Equality
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Alan Smithee LAS VEGAS, NV — With over 136 black people killed to date by police officers in the
Read more
Enraged Man Repeatedly Stabs iPhone 7 with Headphone Jack to Make Own Port
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery NEW YORK — After just purchasing his brand new iPhone 7, Clark Samson absentmindedly tried plugging in
Read more
Frat Wonders If Enough Time Has Passed To Throw 9/11 Themed Party
According to ΣΩT president Robert Meyer, the party could easily be “lit” and the Sunday evening event would “blow up” the row, puns intended, unless it’s still too soon.
Read moreTom Hanks to Star in Biopic About Tom Hanks
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jacob Surovsky HOLLYWOOD, CA — After an acting career of nearly 40 years, Tom Hanks is ready to take
Read more
Study Abroad Student’s Life Outlook ‘Completely Changed’ by 5 Months in White, Anglophone Country
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joseph Grazier LOS ANGELES — Following a semester spent in Melbourne, USC Junior Tommy Barotta has come back, in
Read more