Hecuba a Little Too Turned On While Being Wrapped In Duct Tape

By Lexa Ornes

LOS ANGELES, CA – It’s Conquest Week at USC, which also happens to be Hecuba’s favorite time of year, as it is the one time the Queen of Troy gets the kinky sexual gratification she longs for. “As a strong, independent woman, I like feeling like I am letting go of my power, so when I’m being covered head to toe in duct tape, it makes me weak in the knees. Of course, I can’t bend them because the duct tape makes me forgo all control, just how I like it..”

The workers strapping her with duct tape have reported finding the process a bit difficult. “Covering her head is fine but once we get below the belt it’s hard because so much slickness means the duct tape can’t hold traction. We do the best we can, but at the end of the day that stuff could honestly fall off with just a touch..” 

“Taking the duct tape off is one of my least favorite parts of the year, because yeah, it can hurt, which kinda makes it better because who doesn’t like a little pain?” said Hecuba, winking. “ But really it’s just a symbol that the most sexually liberating time of the year is over, and I’m back to simply being a statue that doesn’t get any and has a misspelled word on my side. The only thing that makes me feel better when the duct tape comes off is when disgruntled UCLA students come to throw fruit at me, which I certainly don’t mind  as long as they lick it off afterwards ;).”