Puppeteers in High Demand Now That Politicians Can’t Work Their Own Bodies
by Aidan Driscoll Washington, D.C. – After recent bodily malfunctions of a number of high-ranking politicians, many in government are
Read moreby Aidan Driscoll Washington, D.C. – After recent bodily malfunctions of a number of high-ranking politicians, many in government are
Read moreBy Levi Elias and ChatGPT (But Mostly ChatGPT) In a move surprising absolutely no one, [INSERT NAME OF PERSON IN
Read moreBy Sarah Cortina WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite a long-standing fight to grant statehood to the District of Columbia, and amid
Read moreBy Levi Elias WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. Congressman, NASA astrophysicist and 47-time Miss Universe winner, George Santos, adds current Editor-in-Chief
Read moreBy Izzy Ster WASHINGTON, D.C. — After Rep. Kevin McCarthy lost an 11th vote for Speaker of the House, the
Read moreBy Bill Rockas WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of Transportation, Pete Buttigieg, has instituted an expansive network of juvenile children to
Read moreBy Levi Elias ATLANTA, GA — This Tuesday, December 6th, Georgia Senate candidates Herschel Walker and Raphael Warnock will engage
Read moreBy Bill Rockas CASPER, WY – Through Twitter, Truth.Social, and your step dad’s group chat, election deniers everywhere are expressing
Read moreBy Audrey Serrano LOS ANGELES, CA — Political scientists have determined that the underlying reason for Rick Caruso’s mayoral loss
Read moreBy Audrey Serrano PALM BEACH, FL — One-term president and infinite-term tax evader Donald Trump has selected pop singer Shakira
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