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Politics

Politics 

Puppeteers in High Demand Now That Politicians Can’t Work Their Own Bodies

October 9, 2023October 2, 2023 Aidan Driscoll

by Aidan Driscoll Washington, D.C. – After recent bodily malfunctions of a number of high-ranking politicians, many in government are

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Politics 

Sack of Troy Writers Get Lazy and Use ChatGPT to Write Generic Article Mocking Someone With More Power Than Them

April 13, 2023April 13, 2023 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias and ChatGPT (But Mostly ChatGPT) In a move surprising absolutely no one, [INSERT NAME OF PERSON IN

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Politics 

Police to Earn Statehood Before DC

March 8, 2023March 6, 2023 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite a long-standing fight to grant statehood to the District of Columbia, and amid

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Politics 

George Santos Also Editor-In-Chief of The Sack of Troy

February 3, 2023February 2, 2023 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. Congressman, NASA astrophysicist and 47-time Miss Universe winner, George Santos, adds current Editor-in-Chief

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Politics 

Kevin McCarthy Fills Rejection Punch Card, Earns Free Frosty

January 9, 2023January 9, 2023 Izzy Ster

By Izzy Ster WASHINGTON, D.C. — After Rep. Kevin McCarthy lost an 11th vote for Speaker of the House, the

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Politics 

Secretary of Transportation Hires Hundreds of Children to Kick The Back of Your Fucking Seat

December 27, 2022December 25, 2022 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of Transportation, Pete Buttigieg, has instituted an expansive network of juvenile children to

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Politics 

Herschel Walker Hits the Gym to Train for Runoff

December 6, 2022December 6, 2022 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias ATLANTA, GA — This Tuesday, December 6th, Georgia Senate candidates Herschel Walker and Raphael Warnock will engage

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Politics 

Election Deniers Bummed That Trump’s Second Term Almost Over

November 21, 2022November 20, 2022 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas CASPER, WY – Through Twitter, Truth.Social, and your step dad’s group chat, election deniers everywhere are expressing

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Local Politics 

Caruso Mayoral Loss Karma for Closure of Grove American Girl Place

November 16, 2022November 20, 2022 Audrey Serrano

By Audrey Serrano LOS ANGELES, CA — Political scientists have determined that the underlying reason for Rick Caruso’s mayoral loss

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Politics 

Trump Picks Shakira as Running Mate in 2024 Presidential Campaign

September 27, 2022September 27, 2022 Audrey Serrano

By Audrey Serrano PALM BEACH, FL — One-term president and infinite-term tax evader Donald Trump has selected pop singer Shakira

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Recent Posts

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It Rained Today, Drought Over

It Rained Today, Drought Over

October 5, 2015 Jack Hackett No Comment

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