Revolutionary Male Comic Not Afraid to Make Masturbation Joke

By Margaret Danenhauer 

BOYSBACKINTOWN, USA – The worldwide comedy scene was stunned, startled and gobsmacked when local comic, Tom Dickinharry, delivered a completely original joke on the previously untouched topic of masculine self pleasure.

“So I was bored, right?” He started, the unsuspecting audience completely unaware they were to witness history on this day. “So get this: I jerked off.” 

In a flood of emotion, people around the world began to guffaw so fiercely their stomachs burst; folks slapped their thighs hard enough to cause internal bleeding; they cried in awe of the beauty of the bit to such an extent that the sea level raised and we’ve lost California.

“This is a moment I’ll never forget,” said aspiring comedian Sarah Trump. “It’s not every day an amateur male comedian makes a joke about whacking off…actually, that’s not true. I’m not sure why I said that.”

At time of reporting, Tom Dickinharry has been picked to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom at the Trump-Kennedy Center for his work, and has also been named Secretary of the Treasury.