Econ Major Explains Opportunity Cost of Not Dating Him
By Bill Rockas AUSTIN, TX – After multiple rejections, Economics major Carl Smattford has resorted to explaining the quantifiable
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College
USC Carrot Shot and Killed
By Lily McLaughlin LOS ANGELES, CA – This past week, the USC carrot mascot was mercilessly shot and killed outside
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Student Nominated for Academy Award for Role in “Alcohol? What’s That?” 
By Phineas Kelly LOS ANGELES, CA – On Saturday, the Academy of Motion Pictures announced that USC Sophomore Jacob Stall
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Girl at Party Not Flirting With You, Just Good at Small Talk
By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA – After attending the rager of the weekend, you were shocked to discover the
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USC to Change Tuition Policy to “Girls Free, Guys $90,000”
By Audrey Serrano LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — In an effort to harbor financial aid requests and utilize policies students are
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“Oh Wow, You Have a Tech Startup in Palo Alto? That’s Sooooo Cool” And Other Useful Phrases to Get Laid This Weekend
By Lili Caption: There’s just something about guys who wear the skinny jean/running shoes combo (heart eyes emoji that I
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College Graduate Keeps USC ‘23 as Instagram Bio After Realizing They Have No Personality
By Levi Elias After wise words from one of the greatest independent arthouse filmmakers of the 21st century, Kevin Feige,
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Web Reg Announces Ticketmaster Collab, GE Seats Sell for $485
By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA – In light of students registering for classes in the coming weeks, USC announced
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Breaking: Party Rock is in the House Tonight
By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA – After an in-depth analysis of reports surrounding the return of Party Rock, officials
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USC Begins Asian and Pacific Islander Month Celebrations Early, Promotes Youth in Asia
By Audrey Serrano LOS ANGELES, CA – USC has kicked off its Asian and Pacific Islander Month Celebrations a few
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