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USC Carrot Shot and Killed

October 10, 2023October 3, 2023 Lily McLaughlin

By Lily McLaughlin LOS ANGELES, CA – This past week, the USC carrot mascot was mercilessly shot and killed outside

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USC 

Student Nominated for Academy Award for Role in “Alcohol? What’s That?” 

October 8, 2023October 8, 2023 Phineas Kelly

By Phineas Kelly LOS ANGELES, CA – On Saturday, the Academy of Motion Pictures announced that USC Sophomore Jacob Stall

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College 

Girl at Party Not Flirting With You, Just Good at Small Talk

October 2, 2023September 27, 2023 Izzy Ster

By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA – After attending the rager of the weekend, you were shocked to discover  the

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USC 

USC to Change Tuition Policy to “Girls Free, Guys $90,000”

September 15, 2023September 14, 2023 Audrey Serrano

By Audrey Serrano LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — In an effort to harbor financial aid requests and utilize policies students are

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USC 

“Oh Wow, You Have a Tech Startup in Palo Alto? That’s Sooooo Cool” And Other Useful Phrases to Get Laid This Weekend

September 9, 2023August 25, 2024 Lili

By Lili Caption: There’s just something about guys who wear the skinny jean/running shoes combo (heart eyes emoji that I

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USC 

College Graduate Keeps USC ‘23 as Instagram Bio After Realizing They Have No Personality

June 7, 2023June 7, 2023 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias After wise words from one of the greatest independent arthouse filmmakers of the 21st century, Kevin Feige,

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College USC 

Web Reg Announces Ticketmaster Collab, GE Seats Sell for $485

April 4, 2023April 4, 2023 Izzy Ster

By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA – In light of students registering for classes in the coming weeks, USC announced

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College 

Breaking: Party Rock is in the House Tonight

March 30, 2023March 27, 2023 Izzy Ster

By Izzy Ster LOS ANGELES, CA – After an in-depth analysis of reports surrounding the return of Party Rock, officials

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College USC 

USC Begins Asian and Pacific Islander Month Celebrations Early, Promotes Youth in Asia

March 28, 2023March 28, 2023 Audrey Serrano

By Audrey Serrano LOS ANGELES, CA – USC has kicked off its Asian and Pacific Islander Month Celebrations a few

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College USC 

Opinion: If Starbucks Doesn’t Start Putting the Vanilla in My Vanilla Soy Latte I’m Going to Start Union Busting

March 27, 2023October 23, 2024 Julian Avrith

By Julian Avrith LOS ANGELES, CA – Alright. Listen. I am well aware of how effective and important unions are

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

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Quiz: Are They Hot or Just Wearing Over the Ear Headphones?

Quiz: Are They Hot or Just Wearing Over the Ear Headphones?

February 24, 2023 Izzy Ster No Comment

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