New Finger Fountain to Be Pointed at Financial Aid Office
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Quinton Buxton USC — In light of prominent renovations at the school’s entrance, USC has officially announced that the
Read more
College
Student’s Shitty Fake ID More Believable Than Résumé
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett and Kim Rogers USC — In order to prepare for career fair, junior Matt Stevenson hastily typed
Read more
Frat Wonders If Enough Time Has Passed To Throw 9/11 Themed Party
According to ΣΩT president Robert Meyer, the party could easily be “lit” and the Sunday evening event would “blow up” the row, puns intended, unless it’s still too soon.
Read more
Roommate More Than Happy to Screw Up Sound for Your Movie
“I’ve never done sound before, but I’ll take a crack at recording unsalvageable audio,” responded Samson.
Read more
Rejected Rushee Celebrates Blackout Monday Alone in Room with Lights Off
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers PARDEE— After a competitive rush process and a stinging rejection, Toby Webb came out on top and
Read more
Student Excited to Relearn All the Spanish Forgotten Over Summer
“I purposefully didn’t speak a lick of Spanish over summer ‘cuz the best thing about Spanish 3 is relearning all of Spanish 2!”
Read more
Student Haunted by Memory of Sarcastic Personal Introduction Taken Literally
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Mimi Evans USC — At exactly 11:43 AM on Monday, August 22nd, freshman Heather Lian made the most embarrassing
Read more
Student Opts for Cost-Effective Book-Buying Alternative: Burning Money
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers USC BOOKSTORE — With the cost of textbooks on the rise, Hannah Jackson found a fiscally responsible
Read moreParents Keep Making Up Excuses to Elongate Move-In Process
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett NEW NORTH — Unable to say goodbye to their child, Tim, and finally become empty-nesters, local parents
Read more
Student Stuck Home Over Summer Claws at Window Like Trapped House Cat
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jack Hackett and Chai Karve CUPERTINO, CA — Thinking it was a good idea, rising junior Maddox Hamilton decided
Read more