Rejected Rushee Celebrates Blackout Monday Alone in Room with Lights Off

by Kim Rogers

PARDEE— After a competitive rush process and a stinging rejection, Toby Webb came out on top and spent Blackout Monday alone in his room with all the lights off. While his orientation friends cheered to brotherhood by getting blackout drunk, as per tradition, Webb cheered to independence at his own private party.

“When you get under the covers like this, it really feels like the whole room’s black,” Webb demonstrated.

Webb later rolled onto the floor, cradling his bottle of vodka with dignity. When Webb’s roommate tried to turn on the lights to get ready for Blackout Monday with his new frat, Webb slumped into a determined heap in front of the light switch.

At press time, Webb had wrapped his legs around our reporter in the hopes that he might stay.