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Author: Sarah Cortina

Local 

Dehydrated Sorority Girl At Coachella Just Like When Jesus Went 40 Days Without Water

April 16, 2022May 9, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina INDIO, CA — To culminate the most religious experience of the year for those who(se parents) can

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College Film Bro Friday USC 

Avid Film Watcher Honestly Just Prefers Premiere

April 15, 2022April 15, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina LOS ANGELES, CA — Local SCA (better known as “watch movie for grade”) student Martin Thompson states

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College Local 

New FAFSA Form Simply Asks Question “Do You Ski”

April 11, 2022April 11, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina VAIL, COLORADO — Multiple college seniors were denied collegiate financial aid after answering ‘yes’ on the 2022-2023

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College USC 

Fraternity Suspended After Fucking Up DEI, Hosting Die Tournament Instead

March 11, 2022March 11, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina LOS ANGELES, CA — A fraternity at USC has been suspended after misreading a new policy of

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College Film Bro Friday USC 

SCA Temporarily Closed As Proletariat Students Seize The Means of Production

February 11, 2022February 11, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina LOS ANGELES, CA — The School of Cinematic Arts has reportedly shut down after leftist students seized

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Local 

Plant Based Restaurant Actually Just Dispensary

February 1, 2022January 31, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina  BOULDER, CO — A popular plant based restaurant on Pearl Street was revealed to be particularly plant

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College USC 

Girl Screaming Fuck 12 Quick To Dial DPS On Homeless Man Jacking Off In Front Of Apartment Building

January 28, 2022January 28, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina LOS ANGELES, CA — Local self proclaimed leftist even down to her handmanship is grappling with conflicting

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College USC 

Top Ten Places to Get Fucked Up During Syllabus Week

January 10, 2022January 10, 2022 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina We here at Sack care about the student[‘s] bod[ies]y, and are here to help our fellow Trojans

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Local 

Progressive Family Relinquishes Wishbone Tradition, Pulls Apart Jessica’s Expired IUD

November 24, 2021November 23, 2021 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina PORTLAND, OR – This Thanksgiving, the Hywitesayviur family decided to rewrite the narrative (no not the discovering

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College News in Brief Sports USC 

Firing Of Helton Fails, USC Resorts To Bioterrorism To Shift Odds

November 10, 2021November 10, 2021 Sarah Cortina

By Sarah Cortina and Alexandra Ornes The “weekender” has become the “10 days, given symptoms do not change or new

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Recent Posts

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Colleges Offer Shirtless Zac Efrons For Stress Relief During Finals

December 8, 2016 Staff No Comment

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