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Author: Emily Torp

Local 

Plane Forced To Land After Fight Breaks Out Over Which Jonas Brother is the Hottest

March 10, 2021March 9, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp FORT WORTH, TX – An American Airlines flight to Washington, DC was diverted to New Jersey after

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Columns Girlboss Alert! 

Girlboss Alert! Meghan Markle Calls the Queen A Bitch In New Oprah Interview

March 8, 2021March 8, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp LONDON, UK – Meghan has officially reclaimed her voice! This #qween is the first black woman to

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World 

Whale Found Dead off the Coast of Italy Actually Just a Large Seafood Calzone

February 24, 2021February 24, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp NAPLES, ITALY — After initially reporting they found an enormous whale carcass off the southern coast, the

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Local 

Elderly Dog Proves He’s Still Got It By Humping Every Small Dog He Meets

February 22, 2021February 22, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp LOS ANGELES, CA — Resident barker Rocky, a 14-year-old beagle, continuously proves to his dad “he’s still

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College Politics USC 

Conservatives Condemn USC for Inciting Violence With Motto “Fight On!”

February 19, 2021February 19, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp WASHINGTON – As part of the montage presented during the second impeachment trial, former President Donald Trump’s

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Politics 

Major Biden Named New Chief of DC Police To Accommodate Black Lives and All Lives Matter Activists

January 28, 2021January 26, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp Washington, DC – Mayor Bowser has picked First Dog Major Biden to replace outgoing Chief Newsham of

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Politics 

Trump Finally Concedes! (That He Kissed Pence On The Lips During A Drunken Weekend At Mar-A-Lago)

January 6, 2021January 6, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp WASHINGTON, DC — President Donald Trump has finally made the concession that the nation has been waiting

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Sports 

Bloodbath In Trojan Football Fan Section As Strong Wind Takes Out All 200 of The Cardboard Cutout Attendees

December 18, 2020January 21, 2021 Emily Torp

By Emily Torp LOS ANGELES, CA – The entire cardboard cutout fan section at the latest USC football game was

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World 

Developmental Psychologists Worried That Young Children Are Starting To Believe Their Grandparents Actually Live Inside Smartphones

December 9, 2020December 6, 2020 Emily Torp

by Emily Torp HOUSTON, TX — World-renowned Developmental Psychologist Jerome Richardson, with the Texas Children’s Hospital, has found that “young

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Local 

Woman Deeply Offended After Alexa Suggests Trying A Low-Carb Meal

November 18, 2020November 15, 2020 Emily Torp

by Emily Torp LOS ANGELES CA – Southern California woman Melissa Martin was deeply offended after her Amazon Alexa Show®

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Recent Posts

  • E-Scooter Snuck Into Doheny and Leavey
  • Taylor Swift Drops First Easter Egg for 2030 Divorce Album
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Article Roulette

Agent of Chaos Chooses New Seat in Second Half of Semester

Agent of Chaos Chooses New Seat in Second Half of Semester

November 22, 2016 Kim Rogers No Comment

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