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College Sports USC 

USC Admin Announces Budget Woes Will Be Solved as Soon as Six-Leg Parlay Hits This Weekend

October 6, 2025January 16, 2026 Alex Wong

By Alex Wong LOS ANGELES, CA — In a Thursday press conference, Chair of the USC Board of Trustees, Suzanne

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College Entertainment USC 

Frat Announces New York Philharmonic as Next Big Headliner

October 3, 2025January 16, 2026 Gabby Frugoni

By Gabby Frugoni LOS ANGELES, CA – Sigma Chi Fraternity has announced that the New York Philharmonic will be performing

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College USC 

USC Hires Riddle-Telling Bridge Trolls As GE Lab Instructors

October 1, 2025January 16, 2026 Noelle Medina

By Noelle Medina LOS ANGELES, CA – You shall not pass… this class! With budget cuts hitting every department, USC

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College USC 

Beong-Soo Kim Junior Named New President of USC

September 30, 2025January 16, 2026 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer LOS ANGELES, CA — Immediately after announcing that USC is now taking laws regarding legacy admissions set

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College Entertainment USC 

Dick Wolf Drama Center Renamed to Dog Penis BFA Rehab

September 27, 2025January 16, 2026 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer  LOS ANGELES, CA — Less than a year after USC’s School of Dramatic Arts named their new

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College Politics USC 

USC Affirms its Commitment to Being a Limited Speech Zone

September 21, 2025January 14, 2026 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer  LOS ANGELES — In a recent email to the student body, Interim President Beong-Soo Kim clarified USC’s

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Sports USC 

Colorblind MSU Fan Can’t Tell Who To Root For

September 20, 2025January 9, 2026 Sarah Ruiz

By Sarah Ruiz LOS ANGELES, CA –  Die hard Michigan State fan Fred Greenfield, who suffers from red-green colorblindness, realized

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College Local USC 

E-Scooter Snuck Into Doheny and Leavey

September 7, 2025September 7, 2025 Violet Rose Wang

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – Hundreds of students lives’ were threatened today when two psycho fucks brought

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Attention Vortex College Sports Uncategorized USC 

All Football Hopefuls Must Tryout With an Eight Bar Cut of “Single Ladies”

August 24, 2025August 26, 2025 Charlotte Phillipp

By Charlotte Deckle LOS ANGELES, CA — With football walk-on tryouts just around the corner, legions of wannabe Trojan football

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College Uncategorized USC 

Carol Folt Dead

June 30, 2025July 23, 2025 Violet Rose Wang

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – Beloved USC President, free speech advocate, and demon Carol Folt has died

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Recent Posts

  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
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USC Students Take Class Off for Beach Day in Solidarity with East Coast Snow Storm

USC Students Take Class Off for Beach Day in Solidarity with East Coast Snow Storm

January 27, 2026 Gracie Silberman No Comment

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