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College USC 

USC Gentrification May Displace Local Oil Well

October 27, 2014June 19, 2020 Axel Hellman

by Axel Hellman USC–Every year, more and more students have moved to the neighborhood west of Vermont, driving up rents

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College Sports USC 

USC Introduces New Half-Price Half-Time Football Tickets

October 18, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff

by Grace Carballo USC–In an effort to increase student-section sales, the USC ticket office has introduced an enticing new deal:

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College USC 

New Bike Parking System Deployed in Front of Leavey Library

October 16, 2014January 23, 2021 Staff

by Staff LEAVEY LIBRARY–Administrators have long sought a solution for USC’s chaotic bicycle parking. On average, 3.4 bikes fill every

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College USC 

DPS Attempts to Prove Self-Worth Through New Incident Resolution Emails

October 11, 2014June 19, 2020 Kim Rogers

by Kim Rogers UNIVERSITY PARK– This past week, students at the University of Southern California reported receiving emails denoting the

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College USC 

USC Board of Trustees Adds Token Non-Billionaire

October 10, 2014January 23, 2021 Staff

by Staff USC has a long history of press releases and admissions website testimonials about diversity.  But today, the university

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College USC 

President Nikias Legally Changes Name to “Baron Von Doomsday”

October 10, 2014January 23, 2021 Staff

by Joseph Grazier UNIVERSITY PARK–After a series of “totally midlife crisis unrelated” events, as well as an accidental bath in

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College USC 

USC to Discontinue Unprofitable Viterbi Division

October 9, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff

by Tyler Pullen USC–As a private university, USC’s primary source of funding is from donations from unusually wealthy alumni. Realizing

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College USC 

USC Provost Vows to Reduce Number of Reported Sexual Assaults

October 1, 2014January 23, 2021 Staff

by Staff BOVARD AUDITORIUM–Last year, the Department of Justice named USC among 55 American universities that underreported or mishandled cases

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College USC 

USC Auctions Naming Rights for Toilets

September 30, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff

by Noah Suarez-Sikes LOS ANGELES, CALIF.– Following a brief but mysterious press release from the university, President Nikias has announced

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College USC 

Student Scores Whopping 3% Discount at USC Ticket Office

September 29, 2014June 19, 2020 Rob Smat

by Rob Smat Breaking: JACKPOT AT THE USC STUDENT UNION After a disappointing day of carefully avoiding road construction, campus

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Recent Posts

  • OPINION: I Took Every Buzzfeed Quiz, The Results Were Frightening
  • TrojanLearn CHR Requirement Replaced by New ConsentGPT 
  • Jail Actually Housing Upgrade for Many Working Journalists
  • USC Students Take Class Off for Beach Day in Solidarity with East Coast Snow Storm
  • Stranger Things Fans Disappointed by Finale of Noah Schnapp’s Career

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Goy Boss Alert: This Non-Jewish Person Wished Their Jewish Friend Happy Hanukkah

Goy Boss Alert: This Non-Jewish Person Wished Their Jewish Friend Happy Hanukkah

December 4, 2021 Rachel Michelman No Comment

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