Breaking News:
  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
  • Tech Bro Tooth Fairy Puts Crypto Under Kids’ Pillows
  • McCarthy Residents Encouraged to Report Socialist Peers to Administration
  • Squirrels Now Begging to Hit Your Vape Too

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Author: Staff

College Sports USC 

USC Introduces New Half-Price Half-Time Football Tickets

October 18, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff

by Grace Carballo USC–In an effort to increase student-section sales, the USC ticket office has introduced an enticing new deal:

Read more
College USC 

New Bike Parking System Deployed in Front of Leavey Library

October 16, 2014January 23, 2021 Staff

by Staff LEAVEY LIBRARY–Administrators have long sought a solution for USC’s chaotic bicycle parking. On average, 3.4 bikes fill every

Read more
College Local 

Student’s Promise to Get Buddy ‘Super-Laid’ Goes Unfulfilled

October 15, 2014January 23, 2021 Staff

by Andy Gause On Saturday night, Lance Griffin, a senior studying flirting, made it his goal to get his structural

Read more
Local 

Tubby Man On Rampage

October 14, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff

by Zoe Haddad MUSHROOM KINGDOM 2:35 PM PST, Tue October 14, 2014–Many injured, de-winged in Mushroom Kingdom today. A mustached

Read more
College USC 

USC Board of Trustees Adds Token Non-Billionaire

October 10, 2014January 23, 2021 Staff

by Staff USC has a long history of press releases and admissions website testimonials about diversity.  But today, the university

Read more
College USC 

President Nikias Legally Changes Name to “Baron Von Doomsday”

October 10, 2014January 23, 2021 Staff

by Joseph Grazier UNIVERSITY PARK–After a series of “totally midlife crisis unrelated” events, as well as an accidental bath in

Read more
College USC 

USC to Discontinue Unprofitable Viterbi Division

October 9, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff

by Tyler Pullen USC–As a private university, USC’s primary source of funding is from donations from unusually wealthy alumni. Realizing

Read more
College Local 

Devoted Boyfriend Worried Girlfriend Might Meet Love of her Life at Romantic Frat Party

October 9, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff

by Luke Phillips A USC accounting major, John Elbright, is reportedly concerned about his long-term girlfriend’s decision to attend a

Read more
Local 

LAPD Tickets Cyclists, Order Restored to City

October 8, 2014December 13, 2015 Staff

by Tyler Pullen Earlier today, as lawless cyclists rode rampant through the streets, specifically on Jefferson between Orchard and McClintock,

Read more
College World 

Philosophy Mines Running Out – Robust Job Prospects For Humanities Majors Now In Jeopardy

October 6, 2014June 19, 2020 Staff

by Matt Prusak MOJAVE DESERT — Plato’s cave may soon be relegated to myth after all. The philosophy industry, for

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • OASIS Converted To DESERT
  • Performative Fall Grad Walking In Spring To Feel Included
  • Tech Bro Tooth Fairy Puts Crypto Under Kids’ Pillows
  • McCarthy Residents Encouraged to Report Socialist Peers to Administration
  • Squirrels Now Begging to Hit Your Vape Too

Article Roulette

USC Administration Having Really Tough Week, Asks for Five-Day Extension for New Web Registration

October 29, 2015 Staff No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.