by Jack Hackett
LOS ANGELES, CA — Local man Spencer Reiss was driving down the 110 last Wednesday when he was cut off by a yellow Camaro with black racing stripes and a metallic Autobots decal. There was no doubt in his mind that this was the real deal. This was a real Transformer.
“I’m what you can call an expert,” declared Reiss. “I’ve seen the movies, the shows. I bought the toys and the games,and in all the mediums, the Autobots have the same metallic insignia. If I were you, I’d hedge my bets ‘cuz I think we have a real Transformer on our hands.”
Reiss also claims not being able to make out the driver due tinted windows, a Transformers trademark. “There are some cases when Transformers have created holograms of drivers or pilots in their vehicles. Like in the first film with Barricade and Blackout, but in the second film a smaller bot called a Pretender could take human form. There’s really no limit to what this alien race from Cyberton is capable of,” rambled Reiss.
Reiss became even more suspicious when all of a sudden an 18 wheeler and an ambulance wanted to merge between him and the Camaro, but he knew he had to get the “Hell outta there” when a 2004 Mitsubishi Eclipse rolled up with a Decepticon emblem.