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Author: Chai Karve

Local 

Dad At IKEA Tests Furniture With Crisp Knock and Declaration of “It’s Solid”

September 14, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve BURBANK, CA — Local father Gerald Muller roamed the walkways of IKEA with his collegiate daughter Beth

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Local 

White Noise Machine Just Your Friend, Megan

August 31, 2017August 31, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve USC — Sleep is an oft-neglected aspect of college life. Getting 7 to 8 hours is essential,

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College Local 

Aroused Senior Scours Internet for Hot Sexy Job Opportunities

August 25, 2017June 17, 2020 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve ELLENDALE STREET – After a long day of lollygagging with his friends, senior Dustin Mazen went home

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College Local 

Friend Seeks Conversational Entry to Talk About Own Summer Without Seeming Like a Dick

August 22, 2017June 19, 2020 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve CAMPUS CENTER – Logan Fitz had a dope summer. Like, seriously. He traveled, interned at an investment

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College 

“Was It Good for You?” Asks Professor After Boning Students with Cumulative Final

May 4, 2017June 19, 2020 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve USC —  After collecting tear-stained exams from his students, Professor George Madoff lit up a cigarette and

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Local 

Kinky Dog Really Into This Whole Leash Thing

April 20, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve LOS ANGELES, CA — Local cocker spaniel Buddy was born on a farm where he roamed the

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News in Brief 

Toes Slip Out From Bottom of Blankie

April 7, 2017January 23, 2021 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve MAZDA BROOK, NJ — Late Thursday night, in a suburban home in northern New Jersey, 7 year

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Local 

“I Have Too Much On My Plate” Says Student Who Signed Up For This

March 31, 2017March 31, 2017 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve USC — On a bright Wednesday afternoon, exhausted student Ari Davis plumped down in the middle of

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College USC 

USG Does Free Food Thing to Raise Awareness About USG

March 22, 2017June 19, 2020 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve CAMPUS CENTER — The Undergraduate Student Government allows students to take action and enact change on campus.

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Entertainment 

Loose Cannon Oscars PA Adds “My Virginity” to In Memoriam

February 27, 2017June 19, 2020 Chai Karve

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve DOLBY THEATRE — The In Memoriam section of the Oscars pays tribute to those in the business

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Recent Posts

  • Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom
  • Move Over “Severance”! Apple TV Premieres New Hit Show “Get Out with White People”
  • Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”
  • Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King
  • USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

Article Roulette

In Sick Prank, USC Students Exposes UCLA Student to COVID… Guys, I Meant Sick As In Bad. What’re You- No! Stop High-Fiving Matt!

In Sick Prank, USC Students Exposes UCLA Student to COVID… Guys, I Meant Sick As In Bad. What’re You- No! Stop High-Fiving Matt!

January 14, 2021 Alexandra Ornes No Comment

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