Freshmen Move Empty Smirnoff to Trash Like They’re Hiding a Body
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Drew Thomas-Nathan BIRNKRANT RESIDENTIAL COLLEGE — A group of freshmen spent the last several days getting an empty bottle
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Month: January 2018
Insufferable Douche Worth Being Friends With Because He’ll Be Rich Later
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve MARSHALL SCHOOL OF BUSINESS — Local douche Elliot Tufts greeted his friends in the lobby of Fertitta
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Washing Roommates’ Dishes Prepares Woman for Future as Unappreciated Housewife
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte TROY HALL — When sophomore Jackie Wallace gets home each evening, a stack of her roommates’ dirty
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Uncle on Ancestry.com on Brink of Discovering Huge Cover-up in Family History
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers While filling in his family tree late Thursday night, local uncle Dan Polinski came dangerously close to
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Local Man Awfully Smug No One Has Any Allegations Against Him
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Eloise Rollins-Fife LOS ANGELES– In the wake of recent allegations of sexual misconduct by high-profile men, local man Jason
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90% of Weeks Declared “Rough” by Monday Afternoon
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte As the semester begins, increasing numbers of students are struggling to get through the week. In the
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