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Woman Describing Her Type Accidentally Just Describes Paul Bunyan With Scary Accuracy

March 4, 2024February 29, 2024 Megan Dang

By Megan Dang CLEVELAND, OH — When delusional single woman Ronnie Davis described her type to her friends, they were

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From the Archives: Local Carpenter Upset Nobody Noticed his Resurrection

February 29, 2024February 25, 2024 Scott Altsuler

By Scott Altsuler  JERUSALEM – Local Bethlehem craftsman Jesus Christ claims he died three days ago and miraculously rose from

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Who Said Originality Is Dead? 2024 Mean Girls Movie Musical Spawns New Musical Based On Movie Musical Movie Movie Musical Movie

January 23, 2024January 20, 2024 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias HOLLYWOOD, CA — Box office sales roared into the new year with the re-re-re-release of fan favorite

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Class Sits In Complicit Silence As YouTube Autoplay Counts Down Behind Professor

January 19, 2024January 19, 2024 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas LOS ANGELES, CA – During Professor Horace Broadlong’s Astronomy 200 lecture, an entire auditorium of students sat

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REPORT: Christmas Doesn’t Feel “Magic” Anymore Because You’re a 20-Year-Old Alcoholic

December 25, 2023December 25, 2023 Finn Rollings

By Finn Rollings HOMETOWN, USA – As swift snowflakes swirl, cooling your hot cocoa, and the soft hum of yuletide

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“Now Bring Us Some Figgy Pudding!” Chants Increasingly Violent Mob

December 23, 2023December 23, 2023 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas MILWAUKEE, WI – Tragedy struck at 6:20 P.M., December 15 when a small group of carolers were

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Breaking: Dulce Barista Doesn’t Really Like Your Outfit, Just Whoring Himself Out For That Tip

December 7, 2023December 6, 2023 Megan Dang

By Megan Dang LOS ANGELES, CA — This just in: the swoony Dulce barista who complimented your outfit the other

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Forensic Scientists Open Investigation Into Whether Two Mutuals Are Still Dating

December 4, 2023December 3, 2023 Bill Rockas

By Bill Rockas BOULDER, CO – Forensic scientists are conducting various tests across multiple social media platforms to understand whether

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Inside Out 2 Reveals Newest Emotion: Slow-Creeping Existential Dread

November 29, 2023November 26, 2023 Megan Dang

by Megan Dang LOS ANGELES, CA — Pixar has just announced the newest addition to Inside Out 2’s zany cast

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Trojan Knights Chest Paint Accidentally Spells Out The Name of The Forbidden One, Summoning His Wretchedness from the Depths

November 15, 2023November 13, 2023 Finn Rollings

By Finn Rollings LOS ANGELES, CA – In a scramble of epic proportions, The Trojan Knights, the official hosts of

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
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  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

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A Definitive Ranking of The USC Village Accent Walls

A Definitive Ranking of The USC Village Accent Walls

October 9, 2025 Gracie Silberman No Comment

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