Nation’s Small Talk Soon to Return to Conversations About Football
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Nolan Jones AMERICA — The nation’s leading sociologists confirmed Friday that, after a bitter election that dominated America’s casual
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Sports
2024 Olympics Great Opportunity to Show World Horrendous L.A. Traffic
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Rob Smat photo by Next Web LA MEMORIAL COLISEUM — The Los Angeles Olympic Committee (LA24), charged with campaigning
Read moreNeil deGrasse Tyson Rides Jet Ski Off Edge of Earth
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kirby N. Jorgensen LEFT EDGE OF EARTH — Last month Dr. B.O.B. published his findings proving the planet is
Read moreReport: Song Girls’ Hips Defy Laws of Physics
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Rob Smat photo by Mike Doeff USC PHYSICS — It’s not every day you discredit 500 years of scientific
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Bleary-Eyed Weekenders “Totally Stoked” to Learn of USC Victory
by Jack Koppa Arriving home in droves last night and this morning, USC students returning from “The Weekender” in Berkeley were
Read moreSarkisian, “You’re Terminated”
by Staff SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA–After two full days of suspension, Steve Sarkisian failed to gain another win for USC football, and
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Only Student to Show Up to Thursday Night Class on Game Day
by Jack Hackett and Thomas Marshall A LONELY CLASSROOM–Colton Stock, a sophomore, made the unfortunate decision to schedule a thursday
Read moreBanned From Drinking in the Locker Room, Sarkisian Plans on Drinking on the Sidelines
by Benji Stoll LOS ANGELES, CA — Following Head Coach Steve Sarkisian’s embarrassing drunken episode at the Salute to Troy
Read moreVandals Bus Breaks Down On Compton Streets After University Uses Potatoes As Fuel
by Morgan Greenwald MOSCOW, ID — En route to face off against the USC Trojans at the LA Memorial Coliseum,
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