2024 Olympics Great Opportunity to Show World Horrendous L.A. Traffic

by Rob Smat

photo by Next Web

LA MEMORIAL COLISEUM — The Los Angeles Olympic Committee (LA24), charged with campaigning for another Summer Olympics in LA, has been doing everything they can to get the word out about all of LA’s great opportunities, especially world-class traffic.

The Chair of LA24, Casey Wasserman, couldn’t contain his excitement: “Granted, we’re going to have incredible facilities located in the entertainment capital of the world, not to mention a sprawling and diverse metropolitan community. But above all, we’ve got inconceivable amounts of traffic that contestants from Aruba to Zimbabwe won’t be able to wrap their minds around!”

LA24 has master plans to host competitions in the Valley, Santa Monica, Downtown, and Inglewood. Current estimates show that to get from one event to another, attendees will only need to go five miles, which will require 4 to 6 hours travel time during non-rush hour periods.

LA native and hopeful marathon runner Justine Mixon also shares her enthusiasm: “When the world sees what a bustling bumper-to-bumper metropolis we’ve got in LA, they’ll have to pursue their athletic interests, because walking will probably be faster than any form of LA transportation available to them.”

At press time, Wasserman also noted there’s some sort of metro rail expansion that’s probably not going to help anybody, but just sounds kinda good.