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Graduating Theater Major Worried He Will Contribute Too Much To Workforce

May 15, 2025July 23, 2025 Phineas Kelly

By Phineas Kelly LOS ANGELES, CA — As USC prepares to launch a new class of graduating seniors into the

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USC 

Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom

May 3, 2025July 14, 2025 Ella Grossman

By Ella Grossman  LOS ANGELES — This Friday, the world’s first Sperm Race took place at LA Center Studio in

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USC 

Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”

May 3, 2025May 3, 2025 Phineas Kelly

By Phineas Kelly LOS ANGELES — As universities nationwide fear the loss of federal research funding, the University of Southern

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Entertainment USC 

Three Things I Learned From The Smut Panel at the Festival of Books

May 2, 2025August 26, 2025 Pablo Rodriguez

By Pablo Rodriguez LOS ANGELES, CA – Last weekend the LA Times held the world famous Festival of Books at

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USC 

USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

April 23, 2025May 3, 2025 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer  LOS ANGELES — Fight on Trojans! USC has named Joey “The Booger” Santonelli, better known as the

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College 

The Great Migration: USC Students Flock East for Coachella

April 11, 2025April 18, 2025 Sarah Ruiz

By Sarah Ruiz LOS ANGELES, CA – Pack your pills and poppers, USC’s finest scholars are heading East for the

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USC 

Term “DEI” Changes to “Community” to Reinforce USC’s Values as a Community College

March 27, 2025March 29, 2025 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias LOS ANGELES, CA – In an email sent to the USC population by the Office of the

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USC 

USC Students Agree: St. Patrick’s Day On Spring Break Is A Waste of a Good Excuse to Drink

March 17, 2025March 29, 2025 Quinn Healey

By Quinn Healey LOS ANGELES, CA/CABO SAN LUCAS, MEX – In a rare display of solidarity, the USC Interfraternity and

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College 

Girl Gets Parents to Fund Trip to Cabo by Saying She Can Get Around Tariffs

March 14, 2025March 14, 2025 Violet Rose Wang

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – Trying to get your parents to spend even more money on your

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USC 

Carol Folt Finally Locks The Fuck In For Final Semester

March 12, 2025March 14, 2025 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias LOS ANGELES, CA — Soon-to-be retired USC president Carol Folt just realized that she’s wasted her entire

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Recent Posts

  • OPINION: I Took Every Buzzfeed Quiz, The Results Were Frightening
  • TrojanLearn CHR Requirement Replaced by New ConsentGPT 
  • Jail Actually Housing Upgrade for Many Working Journalists
  • USC Students Take Class Off for Beach Day in Solidarity with East Coast Snow Storm
  • Stranger Things Fans Disappointed by Finale of Noah Schnapp’s Career

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Benny and the Sharks

Benny and the Sharks

February 7, 2018 Sara Linden No Comment

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