Breaking News:
  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

College

Entertainment USC 

Three Things I Learned From The Smut Panel at the Festival of Books

May 2, 2025August 26, 2025 Pablo Rodriguez

By Pablo Rodriguez LOS ANGELES, CA – Last weekend the LA Times held the world famous Festival of Books at

Read more
USC 

USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

April 23, 2025May 3, 2025 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer  LOS ANGELES — Fight on Trojans! USC has named Joey “The Booger” Santonelli, better known as the

Read more
College 

The Great Migration: USC Students Flock East for Coachella

April 11, 2025April 18, 2025 Sarah Ruiz

By Sarah Ruiz LOS ANGELES, CA – Pack your pills and poppers, USC’s finest scholars are heading East for the

Read more
USC 

Term “DEI” Changes to “Community” to Reinforce USC’s Values as a Community College

March 27, 2025March 29, 2025 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias LOS ANGELES, CA – In an email sent to the USC population by the Office of the

Read more
USC 

USC Students Agree: St. Patrick’s Day On Spring Break Is A Waste of a Good Excuse to Drink

March 17, 2025March 29, 2025 Quinn Healey

By Quinn Healey LOS ANGELES, CA/CABO SAN LUCAS, MEX – In a rare display of solidarity, the USC Interfraternity and

Read more
College 

Girl Gets Parents to Fund Trip to Cabo by Saying She Can Get Around Tariffs

March 14, 2025March 14, 2025 Violet Rose Wang

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – Trying to get your parents to spend even more money on your

Read more
USC 

Carol Folt Finally Locks The Fuck In For Final Semester

March 12, 2025March 14, 2025 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias LOS ANGELES, CA — Soon-to-be retired USC president Carol Folt just realized that she’s wasted her entire

Read more
USC 

USC Announces Multi-Million, Top-of-the-Line, Revolutionary Program to Debut Right After You Graduate

February 20, 2025February 27, 2025 Violet Rose Wang

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – USC administration announced this morning that they would soon be debuting an

Read more
USC 

USC Defunds Daily Trojan to Fund Sack of Troy

December 6, 2024December 13, 2024 Violet Rose Wang

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – In light of the Daily Trojan announcing that USC has slashed their

Read more
College 

Scheduling A Mandatory Meeting, And 5 Other Signs That Your Academic Advisor Wants You

December 2, 2024December 2, 2024 Dean Woods

By Dean Woods LOS ANGELES, CA – As class registration for next semester rolls around once again, emails are flying

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

President Nikias Legally Changes Name to “Baron Von Doomsday”

October 10, 2014 Staff No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.