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Author: Staff

College USC 

Weird Horse Girl a Little Too Into Traveler

October 4, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Elise Vondra ROUND LAKE, IL. — Incoming USC freshman Sarah Nando walked through her stable one last time and

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Local 

Idiot Riding Unicycle Must Be Unaware of Less Complicated Forms of Transportation

October 3, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn USC – A young man whose primary choice of transportation is a unicycle has transfixed campus. Although

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Local 

Meteorologists on Date Skip Small Talk, Get Straight to the Weather

October 2, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kylie Harrington LOS FELIZ, CA – Abandoning the useless social niceties that send many first dates down the drain,

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College Local 

Recent Grad Visits IKEA to Live Out Fantasies of Home Ownership

September 29, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery BURBANK, CA — On Saturday, recent graduate Taryn Rodriguez spent the day at IKEA, living out the

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College USC 

Nikias Beats Out Another 20 Million Dollar Donation From Billionaire Alum

September 28, 2017January 23, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn SAN MARINO, CA – After being shortchanged one too many times, USC president C.L. Max Nikias took

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Entertainment Local 

Bubba Gump Manager Thinks Today’s the Day Tom Hanks Finally Shows Up

September 21, 2017January 21, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn SANTA MONICA, CA – Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. restaurant manager Rickie Goad spent the early hours of

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Local 

Coy Barista Indicates She “Totally Wants It” With Polite, Forced Smile

September 20, 2017April 2, 2018 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Emily Halaka LOS ANGELES, CA – A typical morning coffee run got a little hotter this week when local barista

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College Entertainment 

Heartwarming! This Theater Student is Only In It For The Money

September 18, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Colin McIsaac LOS ANGELES, CA — It’s upsetting to think that collegiate arts programs are filled with students unafraid

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Politics World 

New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left

September 15, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Colin Mullins HARVARD, CONN. — After less than a minute of analysis, researchers have concluded that three “alt-rights” do

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Local Politics 

Area Man Fiscally Conservative But Socially Awkward

September 13, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA — In a time of deep political division, area man Chase Stuart defies the

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
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  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

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Introduction from the Editor: Dear Foolish Americans, I come to Your Country in Peace

November 7, 2013 Axel Hellman No Comment

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