The Sack of Troy Endorses Mikey McCormack For 8th Grade Class President
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text] The Sack of Troy strives to bring our readers objective news they can trust, no matter their political leanings.
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Courageous Girl Risks Her Life Peeing in Gnarly Frat House Bathroom
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Gabriella Tranchina THE ROW– At Sigma Nu’s party last Friday, freshman Claire Shea proved herself a modern-day hero by
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Student Writes Genuinely Thoughtful Message on Dorm Whiteboard
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte LOS ANGELES, CA — The fourth floor of Fluor Tower was rocked Saturday by the appearance of
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Student Has Life Threatening Allergic Reaction, Engemann: “Sorry It’s After 5, Tomorrow?”
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Gabriella Tranchina ENGEMANN HEALTH CENTER — At 5:15PM on Monday, Sophomore Clara Rivers was munching on some Lucky Charms
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Fraternity Member Crashes Car, Blames Traffic Lights For Sending “Confusing, Mixed Signals”
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Lillian Tsao USC — Phi Kappa Kappa member Matthew Robertson ran over a crowd of pedestrians on Tuesday, killing
Read moreHollywood Soon To Run Out Of Adjective-Number Combinations For Movie Titles
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Amanda Suarez HOLLYWOOD, CA — With the release of Magnificent Seven and Ridiculous 6, Hollywood is headed towards a
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Breakups Increase After Parents Weekend as Students Discover How Significant Other Will Look in 25 Years
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte USC — As Parents Weekend comes to a close, breakups have increased by 50% after students came
Read moreTim Kaine Bursts Into Harmonica Solo In The Face Of Difficult Debate Questions
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Georgina Chiou LONGWOOD UNIVERSITY, VA — Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Tim Kaine has garnered a tremendous amount of attention
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Sororities Employ Barcode Tattoos to Tell Attractive, Blonde Sisters Apart
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Lillian Tsao LOS ANGELES, CA—For decades, the sorority has been a haven for attractive blonde females, but distinguishing each
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Last Non-Mac Computer on Campus to Be Put Down This Week
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Christine Politte LOS ANGELES, CA — After years of being surrounded by generations of sleeker, thinner Macs with better
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