Breaking News:
  • OPINION: I Took Every Buzzfeed Quiz, The Results Were Frightening
  • TrojanLearn CHR Requirement Replaced by New ConsentGPT 
  • Jail Actually Housing Upgrade for Many Working Journalists
  • USC Students Take Class Off for Beach Day in Solidarity with East Coast Snow Storm
  • Stranger Things Fans Disappointed by Finale of Noah Schnapp’s Career

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

U.S.

News in Brief Politics U.S. 

Jail Actually Housing Upgrade for Many Working Journalists

January 30, 2026January 31, 2026 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer  LOS ANGELES COUNTY JAIL — Many journalists who were unlawfully detained by ICE this morning were unexpectedly

Read more
College U.S. USC 

USC Students Take Class Off for Beach Day in Solidarity with East Coast Snow Storm

January 27, 2026January 29, 2026 Gracie Silberman

By Gracie Silberman LOS ANGELES – After seeing New Yorkers enduring a record-breaking snow storm, hundreds of USC students collectively

Read more
Politics U.S. 

POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”

January 19, 2026January 19, 2026 Dean Woods

By Dean Woods WASHINGTON, D.C. — Six weeks after removing MLK Day and Juneteenth from the National Parks calendar, Trump

Read more
Politics U.S. 

Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 

January 3, 2026January 18, 2026 Pablo Rodriguez

By Pablo Rodriguez MAR-A-LAGO, FL – During today’s press conference regarding the invasion of Venezuela and capture of President Maduro

Read more
U.S. 

Twunkmas, Butchcember, and Other Gay Terms Us Heteros Are Stealing this Holiday Season

December 6, 2025January 16, 2026 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer PROVO, UT — This is for my matcha Dubai Labubu chocolate boys; this one is for my

Read more
Politics U.S. 

Pardoned Thanksgiving Turkey Actually Leader of Money Laundering Scheme

November 27, 2025January 16, 2026 Charlotte Dekle

By Charlotte Dekle WASHINGTON, DC — In another move of flagrant disregard for the law, President Donald Juniper Trump has

Read more
U.S. Uncategorized 

99 Cents Store Freaking The Fuck Out

November 13, 2025January 16, 2026 Charlotte Dekle

By Charlotte Dekle COMMERCE, CA — A local branch of the 99 Cents Only Store is in dire straits after

Read more
Local Politics U.S. 

New Gerrymander Packs Your Room With Your Sibling’s Room

November 4, 2025January 16, 2026 Alex Wong

By Alex Wong MONTPILIER, VT—After a date night involving multiple bottles of chardonnay, your mother and father jointly announced their

Read more
U.S. 

Kohl’s Cash Now Stronger Than the American Dollar

October 28, 2025January 16, 2026 Gracie Silberman

By Gracie Silberman WASHINGTON, D.C. –  As inflation climbs and the ol’ reliable dollar loses its value faster than USC

Read more
Local Politics U.S. 

NYC Mayoral Debate Uses “We’re Not Really Strangers” for Debate Topics

October 23, 2025January 16, 2026 Gabby Frugoni

By Gabby Frugoni NEW YORK CITY, NY – After last night’s New York City mayoral debate featured multiple trivial, personality-based

Read more
  • ← Previous

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • OPINION: I Took Every Buzzfeed Quiz, The Results Were Frightening
  • TrojanLearn CHR Requirement Replaced by New ConsentGPT 
  • Jail Actually Housing Upgrade for Many Working Journalists
  • USC Students Take Class Off for Beach Day in Solidarity with East Coast Snow Storm
  • Stranger Things Fans Disappointed by Finale of Noah Schnapp’s Career

Article Roulette

99% of USC Students Crashing on 1% of Local Couches for the Next Week

99% of USC Students Crashing on 1% of Local Couches for the Next Week

August 2, 2015 Rob Smat No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.