News in Brief
Robert Durst Tries Stand-Up, Kills
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Alex Greenblatt COMEDY CELLAR — At a local open mic, real estate mogul, heir to the Seymore Durst, and
Read morePoor Family Uses Bread Instead of Hot Dog Buns
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Hannah Ceselski SPRINGFIELD, MO — Every Sunday night, matriarch Susan Hobbes treats her family to a special meal of
Read moreNikias Emerges From Cocoon of Duct Tape Following Conclusion of UCLA Rivalry Week
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Read moreBored Man Shaves Hair Around Nipples to Look Like Eyebrows
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery BLOOMINGTON, MN — Having nothing else to do at 2:57 PM, Devon Tracy went to his bathroom and
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Girl’s Boyfriend Like, The Funniest Guy Ever
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve USC — We at the Sack of Troy have received word that local junior Jane Lazuli’s boyfriend
Read moreToes Slip Out From Bottom of Blankie
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chai Karve MAZDA BROOK, NJ — Late Thursday night, in a suburban home in northern New Jersey, 7 year
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Mom Only Person to Talk Shit to Daughter’s Face and Compliment Behind Back
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Sydney Sanchez LOS ANGELES, CA — After overhearing her mother on the phone, college sophomore Eloise Van realized that
Read moreNetflix Adds “& Chill” Section Featuring Several Hours of Background Noise
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Matt Hanisch LOS GATOS, CA — Based on feedback from numerous sources, Netflix has discovered that its viewers no
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