Breaking News:
  • Film Student Forced Into Intervention Over ‘Whimsical’ Letterboxd Top 4
  • RFK Jr. Launches ‘Just Say No’ Anti-Vax Campaign
  • Man Who Restates What You Said But Louder Wins Pulitzer Prize
  • Traveler Refuses to Eat Hay: “Only Meat,” Says the Horse
  • Bari Weiss Guts 60 Minutes; Now 15 Seconds

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

College

College Entertainment USC 

Dick Wolf Drama Center Renamed to Dog Penis BFA Rehab

September 27, 2025January 16, 2026 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer  LOS ANGELES, CA — Less than a year after USC’s School of Dramatic Arts named their new

Read more
College Politics USC 

USC Affirms its Commitment to Being a Limited Speech Zone

September 21, 2025January 14, 2026 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer  LOS ANGELES — In a recent email to the student body, Interim President Beong-Soo Kim clarified USC’s

Read more
Sports USC 

Colorblind MSU Fan Can’t Tell Who To Root For

September 20, 2025January 9, 2026 Sarah Ruiz

By Sarah Ruiz LOS ANGELES, CA –  Die hard Michigan State fan Fred Greenfield, who suffers from red-green colorblindness, realized

Read more
College Local USC 

E-Scooter Snuck Into Doheny and Leavey

September 7, 2025September 7, 2025 Violet Rose Wang

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – Hundreds of students lives’ were threatened today when two psycho fucks brought

Read more
Attention Vortex College Sports Uncategorized USC 

All Football Hopefuls Must Tryout With an Eight Bar Cut of “Single Ladies”

August 24, 2025August 26, 2025 Charlotte Phillipp

By Charlotte Deckle LOS ANGELES, CA — With football walk-on tryouts just around the corner, legions of wannabe Trojan football

Read more
College Uncategorized USC 

Carol Folt Dead

June 30, 2025July 23, 2025 Violet Rose Wang

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – Beloved USC President, free speech advocate, and demon Carol Folt has died

Read more
College Editorial Politics U.S. 

To Struggling Harvard Students…We’re Here For You

June 15, 2025July 23, 2025 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer In a time where higher education is under attack, Harvard students and their educations have become political

Read more
College Local USC 

Graduation Sash Embroidery Malfunction: They All Just Say ‘Cum’

May 16, 2025July 24, 2025 Ella Grossman

By Ella Grossman LOS ANGELES, CA – Graduation season is in full swing, which means campus is swarming with soon-to-be

Read more
College 

Graduating Theater Major Worried He Will Contribute Too Much To Workforce

May 15, 2025July 23, 2025 Phineas Kelly

By Phineas Kelly LOS ANGELES, CA — As USC prepares to launch a new class of graduating seniors into the

Read more
USC 

Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom

May 3, 2025July 14, 2025 Ella Grossman

By Ella Grossman  LOS ANGELES — This Friday, the world’s first Sperm Race took place at LA Center Studio in

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • Film Student Forced Into Intervention Over ‘Whimsical’ Letterboxd Top 4
  • RFK Jr. Launches ‘Just Say No’ Anti-Vax Campaign
  • Man Who Restates What You Said But Louder Wins Pulitzer Prize
  • Traveler Refuses to Eat Hay: “Only Meat,” Says the Horse
  • Bari Weiss Guts 60 Minutes; Now 15 Seconds

Article Roulette

Poor Family Uses Bread Instead of Hot Dog Buns

February 5, 2018 Hannah Ceselski No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.