Keith Herrmann

Company Gives Prospective Intern Choice to Absolutely Fucking Humiliate Himself on Phone or In Person

March 5, 2020July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann LOS ANGELES, CA – Telling the student to “pick his poison,” a local company offered a prospective

OPINION: Why’d We Have to Learn Sex Ed If We’d Never Have to Use That Stuff in the Real World?

November 8, 2019July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann Cursive. Civil War generals. Sexual intercourse. What do these things have in common? The government made sure

Local Politics

Tall Guy Could Be Taller

November 7, 2019July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann LOS ANGELES, CA – Local tall man Jacob Marzaroli could stand to be a few inches taller,

College USC

USC Launches New Resources to Help Suicidal Students Return Textbooks First

January 31, 2019July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann UNIVERSITY PARK CAMPUS – Following concerns from various student mental health advocacy groups, the University of Southern

Local

Baby Jesus Sees Shadow, Won’t Be Crucified for Another Four Months

December 25, 2018July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann BETHLEHEM– For the third year in a row, the newborn Jesus Christ has seen his shadow and

College

Student Not Here to Make Friends, Have Fun, Get Sleep, Graduate

November 5, 2018July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann Viterbi freshman Sydney Eriksson announced that she did not come to USC to make friends, nor have

College USC

SCA’s George Lucas Building to be Renamed in Light of Allegations That He Sucks

September 27, 2018July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann SCA – USC’s School of Cinematic Arts has moved forward with plans to remove George Lucas’s name

Local

Mars Rover Told There Would Be Other Rovers When It Got There

September 21, 2018July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann MARS – A lonesome NASA rover sent to collect evidence of ancient life on Mars was falsely informed that

Local

Grocery Bagger Shamefully Returns to Double Life as Actor on Shitty Sitcom

September 7, 2018July 23, 2020 Keith Herrmann

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Keith Herrmann BURBANK, CA – Tim Brewer, 34, embarrassedly clocked out of his well-paying gig as a grocery bagger