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Author: Alexandra Ornes

Local News in Pictures World 

Area Man Definitely Not Compensating for Anything

July 20, 2021July 20, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes “Blue Origin New Shepard NS-10 Ignition” by NASA Flight Opportunities is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0 Modified from Creative Commons

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Local News in Pictures 

Wildfires Excited for Biggest Night of Their Year

July 4, 2021July 3, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes Picture by Garreth Paul on Unsplash

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Girlboss Alert! Local 

Girlboss Alert! Local Woman Uses Neck Massager as Neck Massager

June 15, 2021June 15, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – In a total #girlboss moment last Tuesday, Annie Bridger used her neck massager

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College USC 

USC Housing Announces Priority Will Be Given to Students Who Can Solve These Three Riddles

June 8, 2021June 8, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – After a long wait, USC Housing finally announced priority will be given to

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World 

Queen Finally Defeats Zombie Prince Phillip

April 9, 2021April 9, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes LONDON, UK – After years of battle, on Friday morning the Queen finally defeated the Zombie form

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Local 

Local Girl Isn’t Young Or Old Enough To Justify Saying Oopsie Daisy

March 24, 2021March 24, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes KNOXVILLE, TN – Local 17-year-old girl Samantha Lange shocked friends on Friday with the use of the

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Columns Girlboss Alert! 

Girlboss Alert! Cute Design of Tampon Applicator Makes Periods TOTALLY Worth It

March 18, 2021March 18, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – In a total bad bitch moment, Always has come out with a new

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Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: I Miss Trump’s Twitter More Than My Ex

March 16, 2021March 16, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes After the obligatory mourning period, I think I’m finally ready to share my feelings with the world.

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Politics 

Texas Challenges Coronavirus to Good Ol’ Fashioned Western Showdown

March 3, 2021March 3, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes HIGH NOON, TOWN THAT AIN’T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US – As the sun crested

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College USC 

USC Freshmen Receive Welcome Box Containing Four White Claws, a Fire Alarm Set For 4am, and a Lifetime of Student Debt

March 2, 2021March 1, 2021 Alexandra Ornes

By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – USC freshman Dylan Gomez was elated to receive a USC Welcome Box, which

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  • Taylor Swift Drops First Easter Egg for 2030 Divorce Album
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Spotted: Jeff Bezos Touring Future University of Jeff Bezos

Spotted: Jeff Bezos Touring Future University of Jeff Bezos

February 22, 2022 Izzy Ster No Comment

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