Police Raid Gingerbread Crack House During Pop Rock Bust
By Jack Martino SANTAVILLE, NORTH POLE – Following an anonymous tip that a local gingerbread house was a hotspot for
Read more
Local
6 Adorable Gift Ideas For The Anti-Semitic Horse Goblin That Lives In Your Attic
By Finn Kobler Ah, Christmas. Everyone’s favorite 3-month-long street fight between Jesus’ most devoted followers, earnestly trying to celebrate his
Read more
Breaking: On Top of Everything Else, Now It’s Cold Outside
By Charlotte Phillipp MADISON, WISCONSIN — On top of the daily horrors that we now call “life,” experts have confirmed
Read more
Local Teen Can’t Wait To Get Into Christmas Spirit By Decorating Room, Being Hit With The Realization Another Year Of Her Life Has Flown By With Nothing To Show For It
By Alexandra Ornes SAN JOSE, CA – Local Teen Lila Mueller can’t wait to decorate her room with cute Christmas
Read more
Friend Who Plans On “Heading Up There” Actually Has To Travel South
By Mia Young MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Recent college graduate Andrew Swanson made plans to head “up” to visit his best
Read more
Toddler Gives Impassioned Yet Unintelligible Speech on Space and/or Dinosaurs
By Rachel Michelman TONY’S TOT DAYCARE, NC — Local toddler Alex Morgan impressed both his peers and daycare workers when
Read more
LA County Gives Up “Cool Mom” Title, Imposes Mandatory Bedtime
By Jack Martino LOS ANGELES, CA – As COVID-19 cases rise, Los Angeles County has officially abandoned the “cool mom”
Read more
LA to Create Program to Divert Mental Health Calls From Stoic Dads Saying “Tough It Up”
By Drew Thomas-Nathan LOS ANGELES, CA — The Los Angeles City Council unanimously voted Wednesday to create a pilot program
Read more
Former School Bully Reaches Out to Classmates to Apologize, Sell Pyramid Scheme Knives
By Charlotte Phillipp COSTA MESA, CA. – Former high school bully Bryleigh Davis has decided to turn a new leaf
Read more
Uninvited Racist Uncle Zoom Bombs Virtual Thanksgiving Dinner
By Alexandra Miller HOMETOWN, USA – Even with the unprecedented COVID-19 restrictions, the heartwarming Thanksgiving traditions of warm turkey, pumpkin
Read more