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Politics

Entertainment Film Bro Friday Politics Sports U.S. 

Pronoun Debate Comes To a Boil as Him Gets 29% on Rotten Tomatoes

September 25, 2025January 16, 2026 Gabby Frugoni

By Gabby Frugoni LOS ANGELES, CA – The debate over gender pronouns has escalated following negative criticism of the new

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Politics U.S. 

CIA Injects Lab Grown Evil Lesbians into Dating Pool in Attempt to Drive Messy She/They Bisexuals to Republicanism

September 24, 2025January 16, 2026 Margaret Danenhauer

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Rapp rapp. A knuckle taps on the glass, not yearning for freedom, but for chaos – the

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Politics U.S. 

White House Announces Band-Aids The Cause of Sepsis 

September 22, 2025January 16, 2026 Sarah Ruiz

By Sarah Ruiz WASHINGTON, D.C. – This afternoon President Trump and U.S. Health and Human Services (HHS) Secretary Robert F.

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College Politics USC 

USC Affirms its Commitment to Being a Limited Speech Zone

September 21, 2025January 14, 2026 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer  LOS ANGELES — In a recent email to the student body, Interim President Beong-Soo Kim clarified USC’s

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Entertainment Politics U.S. 

The Tonight Dough Prices Surge as People Confuse Jimmy Kimmel with Jimmy Fallon

September 18, 2025January 8, 2026 Pablo Rodriguez

By Pablo Rodriguez LOS ANGELES, CA – The price of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream flavor The Tonight Dough has

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Politics 

“The Boys” Writers Rapidly Cutting Charlie Kirk Parody Out of Script

September 11, 2025January 8, 2026 Violet Rose Wang

By Violet Rose Wang SEATTLE, WA – Scissor snipping, paper shredding, and screams of “FUCK FUCK FUCK” could be heard

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Politics U.S. 

Big Beautiful Bill Requires Everyone on Medicaid to Just, Like, Figure it Out

July 5, 2025July 23, 2025 Charlotte Dekle

By Charlotte Dekle  WASHINGTON, DC — After multiple days of not so careful deliberation, congressional ass grabs, and strongly worded

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College Editorial Politics U.S. 

To Struggling Harvard Students…We’re Here For You

June 15, 2025July 23, 2025 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer In a time where higher education is under attack, Harvard students and their educations have become political

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Politics 

Trump Actually Anti-Capitalist King

May 3, 2025May 3, 2025 Charlotte Dekle

By: Charlotte Dekle WASHINGTON, DC—Inside sources revealed that Trump is deliberately crashing the economy so he can free the United

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Politics 

Conservative Man Longs for Good Ol’ Days of Pangaea

March 3, 2025April 18, 2025 Charlotte Dekle

By Charlotte Dekle GARY, IN — In response to recent victories against DEI and multiculturalism in the Trump administration, local

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Recent Posts

  • OPINION: I Took Every Buzzfeed Quiz, The Results Were Frightening
  • TrojanLearn CHR Requirement Replaced by New ConsentGPT 
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  • Stranger Things Fans Disappointed by Finale of Noah Schnapp’s Career

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College Freshman Still in Summer Lifeguard Mode

College Freshman Still in Summer Lifeguard Mode

December 12, 2017 Staff No Comment

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