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E-Scooter Snuck Into Doheny and Leavey

September 7, 2025September 7, 2025 Violet Rose Wang

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – Hundreds of students lives’ were threatened today when two psycho fucks brought

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Attention Vortex College Sports Uncategorized USC 

All Football Hopefuls Must Tryout With an Eight Bar Cut of “Single Ladies”

August 24, 2025August 26, 2025 Charlotte Phillipp

By Charlotte Deckle LOS ANGELES, CA — With football walk-on tryouts just around the corner, legions of wannabe Trojan football

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College Uncategorized USC 

Carol Folt Dead

June 30, 2025July 23, 2025 Violet Rose Wang

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – Beloved USC President, free speech advocate, and demon Carol Folt has died

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College Local USC 

Graduation Sash Embroidery Malfunction: They All Just Say ‘Cum’

May 16, 2025July 24, 2025 Ella Grossman

By Ella Grossman LOS ANGELES, CA – Graduation season is in full swing, which means campus is swarming with soon-to-be

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USC 

Sperm Racing Rematch to Take Place in My Bedroom

May 3, 2025July 14, 2025 Ella Grossman

By Ella Grossman  LOS ANGELES — This Friday, the world’s first Sperm Race took place at LA Center Studio in

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USC 

Spending Cuts Force LA Times “Festival of Books” to Rebrand as “Festival of Book”

May 3, 2025May 3, 2025 Phineas Kelly

By Phineas Kelly LOS ANGELES — As universities nationwide fear the loss of federal research funding, the University of Southern

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Entertainment USC 

Three Things I Learned From The Smut Panel at the Festival of Books

May 2, 2025August 26, 2025 Pablo Rodriguez

By Pablo Rodriguez LOS ANGELES, CA – Last weekend the LA Times held the world famous Festival of Books at

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USC 

USC Names Bully Who Stole Your Lunch Money as New Head of Student Dining

April 23, 2025May 3, 2025 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer  LOS ANGELES — Fight on Trojans! USC has named Joey “The Booger” Santonelli, better known as the

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USC 

Term “DEI” Changes to “Community” to Reinforce USC’s Values as a Community College

March 27, 2025March 29, 2025 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias LOS ANGELES, CA – In an email sent to the USC population by the Office of the

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USC 

USC Students Agree: St. Patrick’s Day On Spring Break Is A Waste of a Good Excuse to Drink

March 17, 2025March 29, 2025 Quinn Healey

By Quinn Healey LOS ANGELES, CA/CABO SAN LUCAS, MEX – In a rare display of solidarity, the USC Interfraternity and

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Recent Posts

  • E-Scooter Snuck Into Doheny and Leavey
  • Taylor Swift Drops First Easter Egg for 2030 Divorce Album
  • All Football Hopefuls Must Tryout With an Eight Bar Cut of “Single Ladies”
  • Big Beautiful Bill Requires Everyone on Medicaid to Just, Like, Figure it Out
  • Carol Folt Dead

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World Crisis Makes Ex Boyfriend Not Seem So Bad Right Now

World Crisis Makes Ex Boyfriend Not Seem So Bad Right Now

April 29, 2021 Angie Stroud No Comment

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