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College USC 

USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

December 26, 2025January 18, 2026 Violet Rose Wang

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – Feminism lost again this weekend when Sack investigative reporters discovered that the

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College USC 

Wholesome: Professor Brings Cookies to Final; Fails All Students

December 16, 2025January 16, 2026 Gabby Frugoni

By Gabby Frugoni LOS ANGELES, CA – In this stressful time of final projects, papers, and exams, one USC professor

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College USC 

No Change in EVK Menu

December 10, 2025January 16, 2026 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer  LOS ANGELES, CA — The USC community was left unshocked and unshaken after reports were released allegeding

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Politics USC 

Student Union Busters Misinterpret Their Job

November 19, 2025January 16, 2026 Violet Rose Wang

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – Capitalists, scabs, and Interim President Beong-Soo Kims everywhere are bracing for impact

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College Uncategorized USC 

USC Unveils New School of Fiscally Conservative, Socially Liberal Arts

November 18, 2025January 16, 2026 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer LOS ANGELES, CA — During a Q&A session for the Open Dialogue Project, Interim President Kim announced

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College USC 

USC to Pair ChatGPT Subscription With Free Oxycontin Voucher

November 14, 2025January 16, 2026 Margaret Danenhauer

By Margaret Danenhauer LOS ANGELES, CA — Students at USC today were informed that the school would start providing them

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College USC 

Normal Weekend For Gerontology Majors

November 9, 2025January 16, 2026 Noelle Medina

LOS ANGELES, CA – The lone three students pursuing gerontology degrees at the Leonard Davis School of Gerontology didn’t notice

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College Sports USC 

Inspirational: Parents At USC Target On Game Day Celebrate First Day In Public

November 7, 2025January 16, 2026 Noelle Medina

By Noelle Medina LOS ANGELES, CA – They grow up so fast! To celebrate being born yesterday, Trojan parents took

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USC 

DMC Globe Gets Turned Into Flat Earth

November 5, 2025January 16, 2026 Pablo Rodriguez

By Pablo Rodriguez LOS ANGELES, CA – “BANG,” “CRASH,” “BOOM.” These sounds and more could be heard emanating from DMC

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College USC 

In Lieu of Scholarships, Vice Provost Offers Gold Star Sticker and One Toy From the Prize Chest

October 26, 2025January 16, 2026 Jada Leung

By Jada Leung LOS ANGELES, CA – After gleefully spinning the Wheel of Big Fucking Budget Cuts, USC’s Vice Provost

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

Dean Daley “Monitoring” the Bryan Singer Situation Like Freshman “Monitoring” his GPA

Dean Daley “Monitoring” the Bryan Singer Situation Like Freshman “Monitoring” his GPA

November 13, 2017 Matt Hanisch No Comment

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