Breaking News:
  • OPINION: I Took Every Buzzfeed Quiz, The Results Were Frightening
  • TrojanLearn CHR Requirement Replaced by New ConsentGPT 
  • Jail Actually Housing Upgrade for Many Working Journalists
  • USC Students Take Class Off for Beach Day in Solidarity with East Coast Snow Storm
  • Stranger Things Fans Disappointed by Finale of Noah Schnapp’s Career

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Author: Jonathan Krone

Sports 

12 Year Old Receives 3 Miami Dolphins Players in Trade for Full Size Snickers Bar

October 31, 2019January 21, 2021 Jonathan Krone

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Jonathan Krone MIAMI, FLORIDA — In a move that shocked analysts and organizations throughout  the league, local 12-year-old Bryce Davidson

Read more
Local 

Student Starves to Death After Being Trapped in Chair-Desk Hybrid

October 10, 2019October 10, 2019 Jonathan Krone

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jonathan Krone TAPER HALL OF HUMANITIES — Tragedy struck the Trojan Family today when freshman Max Rosenberg starved to

Read more
College Local 

Carol Folt Accidentally Sends Blank Scandal Email Template to The Entire School

October 2, 2019June 17, 2020 Jonathan Krone

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Jonathan Krone UNIVERSITY PARK, CA — While messing around with different font colors, new USC President Carol Folt accidentally

Read more
College 

Freshman Gets Name, Major, and Hometown Tattooed on Forehead

September 12, 2019June 19, 2020 Jonathan Krone

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Jonathan Krone PARKSIDE ARTS & HUMANITIES  — Adjusting to college life can be difficult for many, but Freshman Drew

Read more
Politics 

Theresa May Excitedly Pitches “Breturn” to Parliament

April 26, 2019January 21, 2021 Jonathan Krone

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jonathan Krone LONDON, ENGLAND — Following recent turmoil with the Brexit deal, Theresa May has brought an exciting new

Read more
Attention Vortex 

Quiz: Which Beatle Are You, Except You Can’t Be Ringo ‘Cause I Called Dibs on Ringo

October 2, 2018January 21, 2021 Jonathan Krone quizzes

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text][/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Read more
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • OPINION: I Took Every Buzzfeed Quiz, The Results Were Frightening
  • TrojanLearn CHR Requirement Replaced by New ConsentGPT 
  • Jail Actually Housing Upgrade for Many Working Journalists
  • USC Students Take Class Off for Beach Day in Solidarity with East Coast Snow Storm
  • Stranger Things Fans Disappointed by Finale of Noah Schnapp’s Career

Article Roulette

“Weed Opened My Third Eye” Says Man Who Hasn’t Opened a Book in Five Years

“Weed Opened My Third Eye” Says Man Who Hasn’t Opened a Book in Five Years

March 7, 2023 Lili No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.