Local – The Sack of Troy

Least Favorite Sibling Ornament on Back of Tree

By Jada Leung SAN GABRIEL, CA – Local knucklehead and 8-year-old Jonathan Munch, of Munch family fame, was left distraught

By Jada Leung NORTH POLE – As the clock struck November, deep in the vestiges of Alaska or something, the

By Charlotte Dekle LOS ANGELES, CA — According to Darren Priestley, President of Catholics Who Have To Put Their Nose Into

By Alex Wong MONTPILIER, VT—After a date night involving multiple bottles of chardonnay, your mother and father jointly announced their

By Kira Wallace BOSTON, MA — Kyle Clawhorne knows that as a straight, white mailman, he has the deck stacked

By Gabby Frugoni NEW YORK CITY, NY – After last night’s New York City mayoral debate featured multiple trivial, personality-based

By Noelle Medina BROOKLYN, NY – Despite having a caramel balayage and minimal espresso-brewing skills, Santa Monica native Kinsey Skate

By Noelle Medina LOS ANGELES, CA – Fragile and sensitive boy Humpty Dumpty reportedly cried and ran out of his

By Violet Rose Wang LOS ANGELES, CA – Hundreds of students lives’ were threatened today when two psycho fucks brought

By Ella Grossman LOS ANGELES, CA – Graduation season is in full swing, which means campus is swarming with soon-to-be