Breaking News:
  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

The Sack of Troy

USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper

The Sack of Troy

  • College
  • Local
  • World
  • Sports
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Videos
  • Columns
    • Attention Vortex
    • Dear Mom
    • Girlboss Alert!
    • Reviews
    • Strong Feelings
  • About
    • History
    • Join Us
    • Contact Us
    • Members

Author: Staff

Local 

Empty Nesters Adjust To One Less Disappointment in House

September 12, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kylie Charney-Harrington BELLEVUE, WA — Sunlight streamed through the French doors of Cathy McCormick’s split-level as she padded through

Read more
College Local 

Professor in Midst of Mid-Life Crisis Offers Extra Credit to Anyone Willing to Go to Burning Man With Him

September 8, 2017January 23, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Nolan Jones LOS ANGELES — After realizing that he was probably past the halfway point of his insignificant life,

Read more
College USC 

USC Med Students Dissect Massive Elephant in the Room

September 7, 2017January 23, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ethan Thomson LOS ANGELES – USC’s Keck School of Medicine is off to an exciting start as students returned

Read more
Local 

Woman with Pockets in Dress Incapable of Talking About Anything Else

September 1, 2017September 1, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Kylie Charney-Harrington Hell-bent on demonstrating the utility of her stylish dress choice, local Laurel Hersey insisted on reminding every

Read more
College USC 

Girl on Apartment Meal Plan Finds Trojan Plan Sugar Daddy

August 30, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Elise Vondra TROJAN GROUNDS, USC – As she went to pay for her grande soy latte, sophomore Lucy White

Read more
Local 

Post-Divorce Fun-Dad Is Scaring the Children

April 27, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ethan Thomson LOS ANGELES, CA — On Tuesday, recently divorced and newly “fun-dad” Rob Cooper attempted to take his

Read more
College 

Guest Speaker Put To Sleep By Student’s Long-Winded Personal Anecdote

April 13, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Emily Halaka USC – Deep into cinema student Evan Carmody’s egregiously long tale disguised as “asking a relevant question,”

Read more
Columns Strong Feelings 

New Poll Conducted by the Cool Kids Concludes That I’m Gay

April 12, 2017April 12, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ethan Thomson According to a new poll conducted by the cool kids at New Summit Middle School, I am

Read more
College 

Student Hopes TA Gives as Little Shit About Grading Essay as He Gave to Writing It

April 11, 2017June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joey Rayburn USC – Last night, Junior Darren Tuppence cobbled together the most ungodly piece of trash essay, the

Read more
Local 

Man Uses Pins on Denim Jacket as Replacement for Personality

April 6, 2017April 6, 2017 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Nimisha Narayanan LOS ANGELES, CA — After a month of hesitation and loitering outside of thrift shops, local man

Read more
  • ← Previous
  • Next →

Categories

  • Apologies to The Editor
  • Attention Vortex
  • College
  • Columns
  • Comics
  • Dear Mom
  • Editorial
  • Entertainment
  • Film Bro Friday
  • Girlboss Alert!
  • Local
  • News in Brief
  • News in Pictures
  • Politics
  • Reviews
  • Sports
  • Strong Feelings
  • U.S.
  • Uncategorized
  • USC
  • Videos
  • World

Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

Tinder App Originally Marketed Towards USC Squirrels, Says Its Creators

February 22, 2014 Staff No Comment

Archives

© 2026 The Sack of Troy. All wrongs reserved.