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Author: Staff

College Local 

Student Brushes Teeth as Long as Person at Neighboring Sink to Not Seem Gross

September 29, 2016June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery | photo by Liam Maddox BIRNKRANT — Friday morning, freshman Marcus Reynolds entered the bathroom and began

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Politics 

Voters Relieved Debate Changed Nothing

September 27, 2016 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Staff AMERICA — The first presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump quelled the fears of local voters

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College 

Student Hesitant to Draw Conclusions About Thumping Noises Coming From Wall

September 23, 2016June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Cameron Wen USC – A variety of sights, scents, and sounds can be found at any given time in

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Local Politics 

Police Commit to Shooting More Unarmed White People to Ensure Equality

September 21, 2016June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Alan Smithee LAS VEGAS, NV — With over 136 black people killed to date by police officers in the

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Local 

Enraged Man Repeatedly Stabs iPhone 7 with Headphone Jack to Make Own Port

September 16, 2016September 16, 2016 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery NEW YORK — After just purchasing his brand new iPhone 7, Clark Samson absentmindedly tried plugging in

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College Politics 

Frat Wonders If Enough Time Has Passed To Throw 9/11 Themed Party

September 9, 2016June 19, 2020 Staff

According to ΣΩT president Robert Meyer, the party could easily be “lit” and the Sunday evening event would “blow up” the row, puns intended, unless it’s still too soon.

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Entertainment 

Tom Hanks to Star in Biopic About Tom Hanks

September 7, 2016January 21, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Jacob Surovsky HOLLYWOOD, CA — After an acting career of nearly 40 years, Tom Hanks is ready to take

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Local 

Study Abroad Student’s Life Outlook ‘Completely Changed’ by 5 Months in White, Anglophone Country

May 3, 2016 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joseph Grazier LOS ANGELES — Following a semester spent in Melbourne, USC Junior Tommy Barotta has come back, in

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Strong Feelings 

Smart! This Girl Took Birthday Pictures for Her Friends’ Facebook Walls Early This Year!

April 27, 2016 Staff articles

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by James Osborne What a genious! Citing the difficulty experienced last year in finding the perfect naturally taken picture to

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Local 

Atheist Vegan Crossfitter Returning from Coachella Overwhelmed by What to Talk About First

April 25, 2016 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kim Rogers and Jack Hackett photo by Popsugar LOS ANGELES, CA — Still wearing her flower crown from the

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

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Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors

Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors

January 5, 2026 Dean Woods No Comment

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