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Author: Levi Elias

Attention Vortex 

McDonald’s Adult Happy Meals Reflect 1980’s Nostalgia with Mini Collapsing Berlin Wall Toy

January 16, 2023January 14, 2023 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias  CHICAGO, IL – McDonald’s, home of the infamous McDonald’s Sprite, has partnered with Cactus Plant Flea Market

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Politics 

Herschel Walker Hits the Gym to Train for Runoff

December 6, 2022December 6, 2022 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias ATLANTA, GA — This Tuesday, December 6th, Georgia Senate candidates Herschel Walker and Raphael Warnock will engage

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Editorial 

Kinder Egg to Release Adult Toy Collection: “Try Choking on This!”

October 4, 2022October 3, 2022 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias CONCORD, CA – After a long absence, the Kinder Surprise is finally making its big return to

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College USC 

Leonardo DiCaprio Spotted On Campus Protesting School of Gerontology

September 29, 2022September 27, 2022 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias LOS ANGELES, CA — One-time Oscar winner and long-time Oscar audience member Leonardo DiCaprio was spotted on

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Politics 

Ron DeSantis Steps Down As Governor To Pursue Dream Of Being A Travel Agent

September 19, 2022September 19, 2022 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA – Current Florida governor, Ron DeSantis, stepped down this morning from his side hustle government

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Entertainment News in Brief 

Elon Musk Admits How Much He Would Pay To Say A Slur

April 25, 2022April 25, 2022 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias “You know that feeling when the one thing you want to do is the one thing that

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College USC 

Frats Prove Willingness to Change, Castrate Pledges

February 28, 2022February 28, 2022 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias  LOS ANGELES, CA — The USC Inter Fraternity Council has finally come to a consensus on how

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Entertainment News in Pictures 

Alec Baldwin Unsatisfied with Shot, Says “Let Me Try”

October 28, 2021October 28, 2021 Levi Elias

By Levi Elias “Alec Baldwin” by Gage Skidmore is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

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  • E-Scooter Snuck Into Doheny and Leavey
  • Taylor Swift Drops First Easter Egg for 2030 Divorce Album
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  • Big Beautiful Bill Requires Everyone on Medicaid to Just, Like, Figure it Out
  • Carol Folt Dead

Article Roulette

Maintenance Worker Can Tell Total Dweeb Lives in This Dorm Room

April 3, 2018 Joey Rayburn No Comment

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