By Levi Elias
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA – Current Florida governor, Ron DeSantis, stepped down this morning from his side hustle government position in order to further pursue his true lifelong dream of being a full time travel agent.
After granting 48 extremely lucky Venezuelan migrants their dream vacation with a direct flight to the most magical vineyard in all of Massachusetts, DeSantis claims he “fell in love with the idea of taking people from one place and moving them to another. Whether it’s illegal immigrants, Muslims, or even the homosexuals, it’s all equally fulfilling to help them go on their perfect getaway. And I feel honored to be a part of that journey. It just feels right.” DeSantis first fell in love with the life changing impact a travel agent can have when he organized a luxurious vacation to Boca Raton for all the Jews from his hometown of Dunedin, Florida. He insisted that they would love it so much that they should never come back!
His passion was further developed during former President Trump’s travel ban, where he could help plan Muslims a trip they would never want to end, which was good because it couldn’t. He affirms that seeing the surprised faces on travelers as they board onto their first class one way flights is the favorite part of his new role.
DeSantis’s new slogan for his new travel agency incorporates one of his iconic catchphrases: “Don’t Say Gay, Just Get Away!”