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Author: Staff

Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: I Don’t Like it When You Call Me ‘Big Poppa’

April 10, 2018 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ethan Thomson To all the ladies in the place with style and grace, please allow me to make one

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Local 

Elon Musk Blacks Out, Builds Iron Man Suit

March 30, 2018January 22, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Joseph Grazier BEL AIR, CA – Following a night of heavy drinking at a “rich people party,” billionaire, philanthropist,

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Local 

The Boys Are Back in Town For Their Quarterly Fiscal Review

March 28, 2018January 22, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Colton Stock TOWN, AMERICA – Earlier this morning, it was confirmed that “them wild-eyed boys” just got back. The

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College Local 

Don’t Worry! Guy At Party Has Copy Of Manuscript In His Car

March 23, 2018June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Emily Halaka ECHO PARK, CA – When local twentysomething Anna Mendosa engaged in cordial small talk with friend-of-a-friend Adrian

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College 

Guy ‘Super Bummed There Are No Hot Chicks’ in His Gender Studies Class

March 22, 2018June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ethan Thomson TAPER HALL –  Sophomore Chad McCallister sat down in a Taper Hall lecture room on Tuesday for

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Columns Strong Feelings 

Opinion: I Miss the Drought

March 21, 2018March 21, 2018 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chris Cheshire I didn’t sign up for this. I live in Los Angeles for a reason. We have an

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Local 

Man Who is Not Team Player Won’t Shut Up About Merits of Teamwork

February 27, 2018 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chris Cheshire VON KLEINSMID CENTER — When Jerry Schlein was assigned an in-class literature analysis and put into a

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College Local 

After Melissa’s First Semester at Barnard, Family Begrudgingly Adjusts Gay Cousin-Straight Cousin Ratio

February 22, 2018June 19, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Emily Halaka ROCKFORD, ILLINOIS – A drunk uncle. A racist grandmother. Someone with some kind of medical degree. For

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Comics 

Sack Superhero #1: Guy Who’s Read Infinite Jest

February 21, 2018June 17, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Alex Greenblatt[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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Local 

9th Grade Class Disappointed New Kid Isn’t Some Sex God Here to Sweep Them Off Their Feet

February 20, 2018 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ryan Zubery INDIANAPOLIS, IN— At 9:27 AM, Mr. Nielson’s 9th grade American history class let out a collective groan

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
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  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

Business Major Plans to Make Millions Selling DIddy Riese Cookies

December 6, 2013 Staff No Comment

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