The Boys Are Back in Town For Their Quarterly Fiscal Review

by Colton Stock

TOWN, AMERICA – Earlier this morning, it was confirmed that “them wild-eyed boys” just got back. The whole gang arrived, speeding into town on the shuttle from the airport, checking in at the Courtyard Marriott just in time for their scheduled reservation. They’ve got some big plans for RendTech’s expansion into artificial intelligence technologies, which they plan to pitch at the quarterly fiscal review meeting.

Johnny, Michael, Ricky and Vance, collectively known as “the boys,” greased their hair back with pomade, rocked leather jackets, and rode around in hot rods picking up chicks. At least, that’s what they did thirty years ago. Now they spend hours troubleshooting communications logistics issues and programming AI systems. They also quit smoking.

“Skipping class to work on our cars in the shop was fun and all, but it became obvious we couldn’t dedicate our lives to these machines,” Johnny confessed, “unless they were self-adapting autonomous machines pertinent to the growing industry of improving convenience for customers in the U.S. economy.”

When the boys did donuts around Principal Grenwald’s car in high school, spray-painting it as they went, many locals would agree that was one of the coolest things to happen in town. But now they’re back to suggest a potential merger between RendTech and QuallComm Inc. at a fiscal review meeting on Monday. Lead programmer Vance De Luca recalled something that may have led them to this exciting opportunity.

“This one time over at the races after school, we lost to another gang, the Speedy Orphans. We realized it was time to get our lives in order and start careers developing microchip transmitters. Only an AI could drive faster than them,” Vance said.

While the boys may not be raising hell by replacing the local drive-in reels with porn films, they are finally making progress on their self-driving roadster.

Monday morning they’ll be dressed to kill, bringing along several presentations on the importance of technological applications and how they will impact both domestic and international sales. Afterwards, they plan on throwing a few coins in the jukebox at Rocko’s Diner for old times’ sake.