Guy Running Stock Market Graph Just Tracing the Track of El Toro at Six Flags Great America
by Melanie Hoffmann WALL STREET — As the novel coronavirus has been wreaking havoc on public life, amusement parks have
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Woman Working from Home Grabbing Own Ass for Sense of Normalcy
By Melanie Hoffmann LOS ANGELES, CA — Despite recent openings of restaurants and retail locations, many offices remain shut due
Read moreFemale Jogger Breaks Personal Record for Most Miles with Van Following
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Melanie Hoffmann TUCSON, AZ — On Thursday, local Tucson resident Winona Clark passed a personal milestone in her fitness
Read moreSeven-Year-Old Playing Doctor Put to Work in COVID-19 Unit
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Melanie Hoffmann ONTARIO, CA — Medical school students across the country have been graduating early to help fight the
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Local Man Swears Mother’s Day Card was Lost in Mail on Way to her Room
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Melanie Hoffmann FRESNO, CA — Despite the tragedy of the COVID-19 pandemic, local mother Martha Ginderson was happy that
Read moreWhite House Panics After Grimes and Elon Musk Name their Baby the Nuclear Launch Codes
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]By Melanie Hoffmann WASHINGTON, DC — When Tesla CEO Elon Musk and musical artist Claire Boucher (“Grimes”) announced the name
Read moreSupreme Court Rules Gerrymandering Unconstitutional Unless District Shaped Like Penis
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Melanie Hoffmann WASHINGTON, DC — The Supreme Court has finally found a compromise regarding the bipartisan issue of gerrymandering.
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Freshman with Sock on Door Could Have Easily Sent Text
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Melanie Hoffmann NEW/NORTH RESIDENTIAL COLLEGE — Freshman resident Randy Danvers caused widespread confusion among his floormates after hanging a
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Opinion: Fun Fact Could Have Been Funner
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Melanie Hoffmann BIRNKRANT SECOND FLOOR — The beginning-of-the-year floor meeting was thrown into an unbearable awkward silence when resident
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