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Author: Staff

Entertainment World 

“America’s Got Talent” Cancelled Because We Don’t

February 26, 2020January 21, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Staff LOS ANGELES — The hearts of bored mothers everywhere were broken on Monday when NBC announced startling news: the

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World 

Heartwarming: Nick and Joe Always Let Kevin Press the Button in the Elevator

November 5, 2019January 21, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ethan Thomson The Jonas Brothers’ Happiness Begins tour is about as hot as Nick and Joe right now. While

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Politics World 

ISIS Down to Original Drummer

October 29, 2019January 21, 2021 Staff
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Local 

Hot Girl Summer Lukewarm at Best

September 3, 2019October 28, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Melanie Hoffmann  LOS ANGELES, CA — On August 10th, when USC junior Lucy Lampart tweeted that she had experienced

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College USC 

Tommy Trojan Struggles to Even Out Tan Lines

August 22, 2019June 19, 2020 Staff
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Entertainment 

Nation Really Hopes R. Kelly Isn’t One of the Masked Singers

January 23, 2019January 21, 2021 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Kylie Harrington HOLLYWOOD, CALIF. — Jaws clenched, fists tightened and brows furrowed, fans of Fox’s hit singing show The

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Politics 

Day 32 of White House Website Just Showing Monkey Holding Wrench

January 22, 2019 Staff news in photos

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Ethan Thomson[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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College 

Newly Installed Dorm Carpet Doesn’t Know What It’s Getting Into

December 4, 2018July 23, 2020 Staff

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]by Chris Cheshire The spick n’ span new threads in New North Room 1412 have absolutely no idea what’s coming

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News in Brief 

Grandpa Just Using Veterans Day As Excuse to Dress Up Like a Slut

November 12, 2018January 23, 2021 Staff news in photos
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News in Brief Politics 

National Rifle Association Marks Itself “Safe” After Shooting

November 8, 2018June 19, 2020 Staff news in photos
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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
  • Business Bro Confused By New MLM Show
  • Petroleo the Oil Wizard Seen Whispering to Trump During Press Conference 
  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

USC Directs Its Resources Towards Replacing The Word ‘Saturday’ With ‘Game Day’ in American English

November 11, 2013 Staff No Comment

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