Man Wastes Helicopter

by Rob Smat

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A Florida man, and local asshole, landed a single pilot helicopter on the Capitol building lawn this afternoon in an attempt to protest campaign financing. He was arrested and his helicopter confiscated.

So in other words, some asshole wasted a fucking helicopter.

Sure, I’d call myself an aviation nut. I love planes and helicopters, even blimps for fuck’s sake. But still, who wouldn’t walk a thousand miles or kill a guy to have their own chopper? I know I would! (This is not an admission of guilt for the events that allegedly occurred on April 30th, 2013.)

For this shithead to fly his chopper in illegal airspace and land it on purpose to get arrested is just beyond me. It’s a mindfuck why anyone who owned a helicopter would do this. He had a fucking helicopter. All to himself!

You know what a better idea would be? Any other idea that didn’t involve losing your helicopter.

I hope this guy never sees the light of day again. I hope he gets his pilot’s license taken away, but to be fair, in Florida that’s just a dead seagull. Still, toss that carcass. Ban him from the air forever. GLUE HIS FEET TO THE FLOOR.

Icarus flew too high. Douglas Hughes flew at an appropriate altitude and then landed in a shithole of trouble.

Sure campaign finance sucks, and I’m glad he did something about it, but you know what really sucks? The image of a perfectly good-ass helicopter being towed away by a Government truck. That’s the real injustice here.