- President Nikias Organizes Bake Sale
- USC Alumnus Publishes Bestseller, Admits “I Couldn’t Have Done It Without Writing 140”
Breaking News:
- Girl at Party Not Flirting With You, Just Good at Small Talk
- Dianne Feinstein Officially Old Enough to Run for President
- Eurocentric Asshole Only Thinks About The Ming Dynasty Every Two Weeks
- Biden Convinced “Impeachment Inquiry” Newest Ben & Jerry’s Flavor
- “I Would Never Spank My Child,” Says White Mom Who Walks Her Son On A Dog Leash
The Sack of Troy
USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper
