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Author: Staff

College USC 

Missed Connections Found Maimed, Castrated, and Dead; Datamatch Primary Suspect

February 11, 2023October 24, 2024 Staff

by Staff LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – USC Missed Connections has been found dead at the ripe age of two, and

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College USC 

Opinion: If USC Brings Back Shared Lyfts, Then Bring Back Splash Bash

January 11, 2023October 24, 2024 Staff

by Staff On Tuesday, January 3, USC Transportation announced a return to the Shared Lyft model for the Spring 2023

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News in Brief 

Capitalism Strikes Again: Amazon Prime Day Just Another Fictional Holiday Invented by the Greeting Card Industry

July 13, 2022October 24, 2024 Staff

By Staff KANSAS CITY, MO — Tensions have risen outside the Hallmark Cards headquarters as Amazon Prime Day rages on

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Editorial News in Brief USC 

Opinion: Fine! I Will Have Sex in the Doheny Book Stacks Instead!

December 29, 2021October 24, 2024 Staff

By Staff “Ever since the no guest thing happened it’s been really hard to find places where you can, you

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College Local 

Student Celebrates First Anniversary of Her Quarantine Bangs

March 19, 2021October 24, 2024 Staff

By Staff LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – As many Americans mourn one merciless year of isolation, Amanda Gilbert has managed to

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Columns Dear Mom 

Dear Mom: Baby Want Milk

December 4, 2020May 24, 2024 Staff

By Staff Dear Mom, Baby hungies! Me want milky now! Give booby! -Michael Dear Michael, Oh, are you hungry already?

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Recent Posts

  • POTUS Changes Holiday Name To “Trump-MLK Day”
  • Millie Bobby Brown Adopts Fellow Child Actors
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  • USC Dutch Bros Does Not Pass Bechdel Test

Article Roulette

901 and 2-9 Merge to Form 9-3-0 with Consultation from Dornsife Math Department

November 5, 2013 Axel Hellman No Comment

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