Woman Appreciates Aesthetic of Glass Ceiling in New Corner Office

by Michael Espriella

NEW YORK CITY — After being promoted by her law firm, Peters, Peterson & Petersen, Marcy Gutierrez moved to her new office on the 37th floor of the 38-story building. Gutierrez explained she could not contain her excitement about her promotion and that she is extremely honored to be the 24th woman in that office in just as many years.

Gutierrez told reporters, “While I miss the coziness of my previous office, it just didn’t make sense for me to have to move every time somebody needed to use the stovetop or coffee maker.”

The new office features a shoe rack the length of the wall, a crying corner, and most prominently, a double-paned glass ceiling.

“The ceiling truly brightens the place up. It gives hope for women everywhere as they too can reach such an esteemed position,”  exclaimed Gutierrez. “On top of that, my upstairs boss can look down on me whenever he wants.”

She went on to explain that the only downside is she will have to frequently clean the ceiling with Windex, but “that’s no big deal because everybody knows how much [she loves] cleaning!”

Gutierrez also expressed her excitement about being able to spend more time with her kids thanks to her increased free time. Under her new contract she earns the same hourly rate as her peers, but is only eligible to work 77 percent of the time.