Scientists Calculate the 100th Letter of LGBTQA

by Matt Hanisch

LOS ANGELES, CA — Scientists have long wondered about the increasing number of letters in LGBTQA+, but historically have only been able to offer rough estimates of the full acronym. That all changed last weekend when Professor James Williams and his assistant Emily Jones successfully calculated the acronym to its 100th letter: E.

In order to find this letter, Williams and Jones constructed a supercomputer consisting of a Xeon processor, 64 Gigabytes of RAM, and a large stack of hard drives. Even with such advanced technology, the entire operation took 35 days to complete and cost upwards of $18,000.

Unfortunately, in the time it took to complete the process, Williams estimates that at least 7 new letters were added to the end of the acronym.

“It’s almost impossible for us to calculate all the letters in LGBTQA+,” Williams explained, “because the number of letters in the acronym increases faster than we can count!”

Besides his studies on the elusive ending of the non-repeating sequence, Williams hopes one day to create a word or symbol to stand for the entire litany of letters, but for now, he suggests using the first 50 letters for any practical estimations involving the acronym.