by Rob Smat
SACRAMENTO — “Gotcha!” announced California Gov. Jerry Brown. “April Fools.”
This morning’s announcement by Gov. Brown to enact water restrictions in California was just one big prank. They really got us this time! It turns out, no matter what we do, we’re still going to dry up and die of drought.
“That’s the kicker, folks,” noted the Governor. “We really haven’t got a chance. We could all stop showering this minute and do rain dances and seed the clouds and God knows what else…” (God has since been asked by state leaders to come forth with any prevalent ideas) “…but that will only prolong the inevitable, I’m afraid.”
Webcams throughout the SoCal area caught citizens’ reactions on camera as they were completely taken aback by the prank, and totally believed something could be done to save 150 years of California history from shriveling up into the unforgiving desert sands of time.
Local resident John Likis remarked, “I totally bought it for a second. I immediately went home to shut off my sprinkler system and get that leaky faucet fixed.” John chortled, “When I heard it was all a big April Fool’s thing, I flipped on all the showers in my house, just to have a little white noise over my own laughter at realizing I had been fooled.”
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m dead from drought,” joked Likis, who is also an aspiring comedian.
With water growing scarcer and scarcer, weather satellites are being repurposed in an attempt to find bodies of water nearby that could possibly supply the area with some liquid water. There are rumors of a large body of water near the Pacific Coast Highway, but this has yet to be investigated.