After 102 Years, Daily Trojan to Cease Publication

by Staff

USC representatives announced that the Daily Trojan, USC’s student newspaper since 1912, ceased publication as of today.

The decision was made due to increased printing costs, declining advertising revenues, and competition with online news sources such as Neon Tommy.

Over the past year, the paper’s management attempted to reduce expenses with unsuccessful schemes such as paying reporters in USC discretionary dollars, a devalued currency worth about 70 cents in American dollars. Despite these efforts, the paper was unable to break even.

The publication provided a forum for students to express their views, with recent editorials such as “Genocide Bad,” “Racism Bad,” and “Lane Kiffin Bad.”

The paper won many awards during its long history, including the Glenn Beck Award for Journalistic Integrity, Newspaper Readers’ Choice Best Font Size, and the Oxford English Dictionary Award for Most Innovative Spelling.

Studies conducted by the Annenberg School of Communication show that the paper’s widespread appeal derived from its spill-absorbent properties and hard-hitting reporting on the date and day of the week.

Provost for Student Publications Charlie F. Kane commented, “We at the Student Publications Office truly regret the closure of this once-great periodical and will ask facilities maintenance to increase their regular orders of toilet paper accordingly.”

The paper allowed student reporters to hone their writing and investigative skills.  Many Daily Trojan alumni moved on to such prestigious publications as TMZ, Cat Fancy magazine, and Jimmyroxxx.blogspot.com.

The loss of this paragon of journalistic reliability is being felt across campus.  Attendance at many Visions and Voices events is expected to drop by 50%, or at the larger ones, 33.3%.

President C.L. Max Nikias hinted that the funding once allocated to the Daily Trojan will be used to deploy burrito machines in each residence hall on campus.