- Student Loses Index And Middle Finger in Accident, Tour Guide Application Rejected
- Film Professor Drew Casper Bites Head off of Freshman Student
Breaking News:
- “See, New York Is Just Fucking Better than LA,” Coughs USC New Yorker Through Cloud of Smoke
- College Graduate Keeps USC ‘23 as Instagram Bio After Realizing They Have No Personality
- Writer’s Strike Catches Up With Succession Finale As Logan Returns And Lays Waste To Westeros
- Midwesterner Identifies as Californian After Two Semesters
- Local Guy Best Friend Continues the Search for His Hug After a Year and a Half
The Sack of Troy
USC's Second Best Parody Newspaper
